So, OK, somebody is surely saying, "I have no clue what she's talking about". For those of you who have no problems with this - maybe you're lucky and this is not your issue (praise God!). Or, maybe, just maybe - you (like me) are in DENIAL! Either way, here's what I mean by getting over yourself. Do you ever have days where a dark cloud seems to come from a clear blue sky and rain "condemnation" all over you? Do you get into a mental funk at the smallest mess up and it just seems to linger big and foreboding in your mind (playing over and over)? Do you interact with people and even though they're nice and kind, you fear judgement? If any of these things or remotely similar feelings come your way - then you are likely a candidate to get over yourself!
I say this with deepest sympathy and compassion. I come from this place and can relate completely. Early wounds and doubts about self worth are the cause of all this, but, I assuredly tell you that sugar coating it will not help. Worrying about what others think or how one is perceived is a big fear of many people(fear of man), but ultimately (at it's core) this is a "PRIDE" issue. Ewwwwww - I hate that word and boy was it hard to come to terms with THAT! Pride, bane of human existence. Please understand that shunning self-pride in no way negates a person's significance. But, significance is never found in a person in and of themselves. Significance is ONLY found in the person and work of Jesus Christ. If we are in Christ - all that we are is significant. Pride - it's most insidious in my own heart when it leads me to seek significance outside of Christ.
So, what have I learned about this crafty and deceitful thing - Pride? First, I had to come out of denial just a teeny bit to somewhat really see it (I'm sure there's plenty I'm still in denial about). I have learned that I can justify many things and lie to myself to feel better, cope or feel worth (but I really never do ultimately feel better doing those things). I've learned that I hate finding out and seeing that I'm not as good as I'd hoped I was (so much pride there). I'm really bothered to see that the thing I seem to despise most and tolerate least in other people (lying) is something that I do regularly (that ol "one finger pointing at them and three finger's pointing back at me" thing). Real disappointing at first.
But, discovering the truth about me has clearly been a life changing thing - a really freeing process. I am blessed with people in my life who love and accept me just as I am. People I meet with regularly who share their deepest pain are so on track with me when I share mine. Transparency - it's like a deep sigh of relief and breath of fresh air! They never judge me or condemn me. They help to remind me how God sees me. I'm learning that I can let things go. I can be real with me and break, break, break free of self-deception. I'm finding I can receive God's acceptance and approval of me right where I'm at - instead of striving and struggling to fabricate and manufacture my own.
What does getting over myself do for me? I can be authentic and real and not let what people think (or what I think) define who I am to me or anyone! It allows me to live my life with more ease, peace and joy. I can enjoy GRACE much more!
Most importantly, I can live into who God made me. I can be who I am envisioned by God to be, without worry that I'm enough of anything. I'm not enough and never was made on my own to be! God loves those who are humble and know that they are nothing. He resists the proud (false pride counts!- when we know we don't want to seem too prideful, but are secretly joyful that someone noticed us!). God's glory shines where people have no capability or self-confidence, but trust in Him. God-confidence is THE only confidence of any value. All else is wood, hay and stubble. I used to think I was capable and competent, but would stop short of my own known capabilities for fear of failure and condemnation. My own self effort and trust turned out to wreck me and get in the way of me really being myself and allowing God to use me as He wanted to. By trusting in God and having confidence that He is willing and able to do all that He wants to through me - I'm more than a conqueror - I can do all things - I can say to the mountain, "be thou cast into the sea" and the sea will be it's new home. Not for my glory, but for God's glory.
Getting over one's self - it's deeply painful, horribly humiliating, difficult and devastating. It is also the most amazingly liberating, empowering, revelatory, and life changing thing that can ever happen to a human being, next to receiving Christ. In fact, I'd say it's part of receiving Christ in that to receive Him more our sin habit becomes less allowing our real self to shine more - shining Jesus more perfectly as a result. I am so thankful to be going through this process and look forward to all that God wants to do in and through it.
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