Hidden In Plain View

I've had some things crystallize and come into sharp focus recently.  Throughout the toughest parts I've prayed, cried, screamed, basically been on an emotional roller coaster at times. Through it all, God has been so patient - so trustworthy, walking me steady and guarding me. I can honestly say I've wanted to throw in the towel at many junctures.  I've asked, "What do you want me to do Lord?" sort of knowing before hand that He just wanted me to rest in Him and trust that He would take care of me and show me what I needed to release to Him. I'm so thankful for Him.  Our relationship is something that's grown as a result of my struggles - so I am very grateful for that.  But additionally, another piece of this long puzzle has come into sharp focus for me.  I've known I was in training and growing - even noted that this "Boot Camp" is not for the squeamish.  But my recent re-writing of my testimony to include more of what's come from this struggle and even more recent prayer and times of God sending me insights - has coalesced into an amazing deeper heart level of knowing Him.  To give a better idea - here are some words from Matthew 5:43 through 48 that sum up much of what I've been experiencing at a deeper level of understanding:

Matthew 5:43-48 The Message
"You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that."
"In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."

I discovered, when I had looked at some points of my struggles, that I was able to concede the truth of the things Jesus was showing me - that I needed to love people who were not,  in any sense of the word "lovable" at times.  But I was just not really doing it wholeheartedly.  Oh, I would pray and note when they did good work - commending and seeing good things about them.  But now looking back, it was always in a limited "I'll give you this much, but no more" sort of way.  Mostly because at times one person was still really irritating and hurting me.  In short, I was holding out -  not being generous or patient because I was still holding on to a portion of resentment - feeling that the person should turn around and repent or stop.  I hadn't given it up to Jesus.  You cannot be a child of God and fail to be patient or generous - it's incompatible with God's nature and Spirit.  When Jesus showed me, again, how very generous He's always been to me it made me so convicted and heart sick to realize that I had shared him so poorly.  I cried.  It felt terrible to realize that I had so badly represented Him. I had showed Jesus in such a limiting stingy and impatient way - which He never never is.  It made me very sad to think anyone would look at Him that way because of me.  But then, it was also such a good good thing to realize, because it finally helped me to see it.


I've known those bible verses for a long long time.  And, I've understood and tried to live them at many points.  But, I've finally learned that I cannot do it myself.  I cannot love people or be patient with them, but Jesus can through me - if I will let Him if I will wait on Him.  It's as though those verses have a completely different meaning from when I first read and thought I understood them. There is a transformation that's been happening. There's almost no resemblance to my original understanding - mostly, I think, because it was in MY head and not from Jesus' heart in me.


And, hearing about God's love again from 1 Cor 13:4 - Love is patient - it suffers long.  So, not taking my own active steps to protect or defend or do anything, but let God - wait on Him.  Its about God, not us or our actions.  I am still learning so much about this and long for the fullness to unfold.   Thank you Lord - make my heart pure and authentically a reflection of yours in every way.

Awareness

We all are in the process of becoming who we believe we are. Yes, like it or not - we live from our beliefs.  Now, if that seems in any way startling or untrue to you - it's possibly because you may not be aware of many things you believe, especially about yourself. Every person is made in the image of God, so all have started out the same in that. However, from the very start of life, each person takes on beliefs that they live from - some are true and some are not.  Some they have an awareness about and some are completely unknown to them conciously.  

We are all born into brokeness and darkness.  When we land here our believer for truth gets messed up, infected with our environment and state. We don't know we're made in the image of God or that we are made for Him (for oneness with Him).  We don't even know what any of that means and we have an enemy who's working to keep it that way. However, God (more than able and always for us) has given every person the  gift of being able to believe Him (faith), if they choose to. Usually God reveals that gift in some way through circumstances or persons in our lives. Some choose to ignore faith in God, even though He's puts that opportunity into each life in ways people can't ignore.  Those who do ignore continually are likely to go down a path to eternal separation from God.  Since God designed and created us for union with Him - our lives will never be fulfilled until we are living into that.  God never wants people to be separated from Him, but He opened creation to the possibility when gave humans free will to choose to love, trust and eternally be one with Him or not. Real love is only real when you have a choice. When we choose to reach out and exercise the gift of faith - by receiving Jesus and relying on all He's done - our standing and ability to believe rightly is materially changed.

Receiving Jesus involves many things - some are imediate and some over time. It is:

• An eternal miraculous final change that happens in a moment when we first believe Jesus' provision for us personally. His shed blood's power over our sin and our need of Him. That trust in Him makes us forever God's beloved children. 
• An incremental process change that happens over a lifetime when we live from the image of God in us through partnering with the Holy Spirit - submitting our life to Him and materially manifesting Jesus and living our lives as God's beloved children on the earth. It is learning to live in who you really are, in Christ.
• An eternal fact that was established before the foundations of the earth when we were seated with Christ Jesus in heavenly realms.  This is Father God's heart - the continual assurance of constantly living with God in His loving joyous state and it guarantees everything. It's a glorious paradoxical mystery.

When we receive God initially on earth, our eyes open to Him and His provision in Jesus - our eternal unity and reconciliation in God. But it's our living in the light of being made in God's image (something the Holy Spirit teaches us and guides us through) that allows us to become the glory of God and shine the reality of Jesus on the earth in every situation, circumstance and person around us.  This is when He unfolds in us as a process.  We grow up into all things in Christ Jesus.

There are specific and precious things of God held in each and every person waiting to be shared with all the others. God is so amazingly big that no one person can hold all the great and wondrous things He is. That is why each person really is priceless - each one holds the miraculous representation of the image and heartbeat of God in a way that no other can replicate.

God is so creative - His ways of sharing Himself through creation, individual lives, circumstances, unity, groups, everything - He is stunning, jaw droppingly awesome. He is so big that I would have difficulty wrapping my mind around Him except for faith. The faith that God's given - the ability to believe Him and trust in things I'm not able to understand - THAT is such a miraculously marvelous gift. That gift is grounded in the assurance of being eternally seated with Jesus in heavenly realms - seated in the Father's affection together with the beloved ALWAYS! What a permanent solid anchor that is. God is awakening His beloved in this time at an unprecedented level  It is such a beautiful and amazing time to live.  Thank you God.  Beloved ARISE!