I'm Expecting

I’m Expecting! Yeah, I’m over 50 now and have had 4 children, so, most people would not think it – but, I’m expecting! I want to shout it from the roof tops I’m so excited about it! Before, I never really thought something this wonderful would happen to me. No, no – Bob and I are not having another child.  But, yes, I am expecting!! 

How can it be?  Yes, Mary asked that same question and she was a virgin, never with a man.  The angel told her how the Holy Spirit would come over her and she would bear the child Jesus, who would save the whole world.   It’s the same with me!  Though I'll not have a baby - the real Jesus is being formed and born in me.  It's an expectant life - not knowing exactly what will play out, but knowing the greatness of the One who made it all and is active in every moment. Mary, you’re such a great encouragement in modeling how to walk through this. When I gave my life to Jesus and accepted the blood of his life given for me and received the newness of His resurrection – the Holy Spirit also came over me and now I too am expecting - bearing Jesus.  May it be to me as you have said, Lord.  Could you tell, am I showing yet? New moms, we're always wanting to show. Haha!

Each new moment with Jesus growing in me is a wonder.  Though there are days where there is no room in the crowds of the people of the world for Jesus to be birthed - birthed he IS!  Where many hearts are not open to his coming, there still are angels and host in the heavenlies announcing Him with great joy, shepherds in fields who see the signs and wise men – there are still those who come, who rejoice and gladly and humbly bear him the gift of their hearts.  Oh and I have the aches and pains that new birth brings, I’m certainly walking and moving differently these days.  My gait is changed drastically – you cannot be expecting without THAT! But, the evidence of the new Jesus life in me only makes me more and more overjoyed. I'm so grateful. The little kicks and movements of Jesus in me – they delight me so and fill me with awe! My soul magnifies you, Jesus. What an amazing life, he is so very real in me.  I never expected so much goodness and I marvel. Yep, there’s no denying it now, I’m heavy with expecting!  And, I loved putting on the new clothes attendant with expecting Jesus – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control – these are not only beautiful and stylish (better than anything I’ve ever worn before and they are so me now!), but they are so functional (they allow me the freedom I need with growing Jesus in me).  And, remodeling has been taking place too - my life and my family's life - we have new areas fit and continuing fitting for the King of Kings!  Do I sound a little giddy?! Well, really I am and I don't care who knows it! :) It is brash and too much! Yes, it is. Because Jesus really is THAT GREAT! And the good news of not only His coming, but coming to live in us - well, IT IS JUST TOO MUCH!  I can take no credit for it - but I shall take great joy in thankful outrageous rejoicing about it! Isn't that what makes good news so good?!!  It is worthy of a real response that big and bigger! 

Ahh, and as I look around – so many others throughout history, now and into the future are expecting too. It’s quite a maternity ward, the earth!  Men and women, children and elderly, people of every tribe and tongue on the earth – Haha!  Quite a Kingdom, I'd say.  You can always tell when you meet an expectant one (wherever they are in their gestation), they are always glowing with Jesus – oh, He shines quite marvelously! The further on they are, the more He’s out front!  Ha!

Are you expecting too?  Oh, my dear friends and family - I wish for you the same as me, that you would also be expecting Jesus in you.  And, I don’t just wish it on Christmas (though that is a fabulous time to enjoy Him).  I pray it and wish it every day, for you - truly! Our heavenly Papa’s joy over you and all your loved ones this Christmas! And wonder – the deep kind that makes your mouth kind of drop open a bit – wonder of Jesus!  Love and hugs, oh yes, if you can get your arms around me - Haha!

Invisible

I glanced at him speaking with a woman as I walked into the grocery store.  A wave of pain hit me as I looked at my watch and hurried in. Goodie week necessitated crackers, cream cheese and salsa, so I’d left a little early to pick them up on the way to work.  As I brought my items to the one open register there he was, this young man talking with the checker about a phone.  The white hospital wrist band peeked out from under his hoodie sweatshirt sleeve as he stood talking.  The checker asked the man to wait as she called the store manager, and then turned to greet me.   As I was swiping my debit card I had a prompting to get cash for this man and hand it to him.  I never carry cash – but when I get promptings I purpose to act immediately upon them.  As I finished up my transaction the store manager came and was talking with this man.  I felt torn – I thought that I was supposed to give this to him, but he was walking away with the manager.   I picked up my bags and halted, looking to see again, then walked out.  I thought, “Well, Papa, I thought you said to give this to the man, but maybe I didn’t hear you right”.

Just then, as I’m stepping off the curb to open my car, the man walks out of the store and right in front of my parked car.  “Ha-ha!”.  So, I pull out the cash and walk over to him.  I let him know that I didn’t know if it would be helpful, but that I had been prompted to give him some cash.   Up close, he looked very fragile and alarmingly bruised and battered.  The purple mottling on his right temple and dried bloody cut over the bridge of his nose along with the haunting look of pain in his eyes completely assaulted me.   He thanked me and began to tell me that he’d had seizures and was just discharged from the hospital. He had no ride, no phone and needed to try to call someone.  He said everyone looked at him as though he were a monster or some sort of serial killer and all of them sent him off - no help.  I only saw a lost pain filled person in front of me. I asked him his name.  “Tyler”, he said. “Tyler, would it be alright if I prayed for you?”  “Yes, actually, I really need that”, he said.  So, he sat on the bench in front of the store and I prayed for him for some time all the things Jesus poured out over Him.  At that point I looked at Tyler.  I was not yet, but soon would be late for work.  But, I felt God prompting me to care for this man – regardless of late.  I asked the Lord what else I was to do for him.  “Tyler,  I don't have a phone, but, do you have a place you are staying?” I asked.  “No, my girlfriend is out of town.  And, I can’t stay with my dad.  He gets really angry and violent”.  I mentioned the Salvation Army, right up the street. He noted that his friend’s mom lived right down the street and if I gave him a ride there he could find someone to stay with.  I sensed no danger, but I check in with Papa, “Is this how we go?”  <Green light.>  So, into the car I load my bags and unlock the passenger side for him.  He thanked me.  As we drove down the street, he admitted that he was actually having seizures because he was coming off of drugs. He admitted he’d had alcohol today, but was off drugs.  I told him I’m part of a 12 step program at my church for addictions – Celebrate Recovery, so, I’m familiar with that.  He notes he needs to be in a program.  I gave him the info for our program and encouraged him to go.  As we pull up to his friend’s house, he tells me he really appreciates that I treated and saw him like a human being and not a monster.  I pray for him again and tell him to get into a 12 step, it will really help him.  He thanks me and says, “God bless you”.  “Tyler”, I say, as he’s ready to open the door, “Jesus says He loves you and He wants you to know He is with you. He wants you to turn to Him and trust Him. Go to a place where they know Him.”  As I drove away, I completely lost it.  I’m crying my eyes out for this man no older than my youngest daughter – 23 or so.  I cried out, in my car, breaking off assignments and partnership with lies and addiction over this man.  I asked God’s close walk with him and provision for him to have the help he needs. 

It is sort of interesting what comes to me as I think about Tyler.  Mary and Joseph in Bethlehem - in their need (a mother in labor) with crowds for the census - it became acceptable for people to ignore their need.  They became invisible.  I always had the impression when I was young that people offered the manger to Mary and Joseph.  Don't they always make it seem that way in the nativity plays? But, it wasn’t that way at all.  Luke 2:4-7 says “So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David.  He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child.  While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.”  Mary and Joseph were in the city when Mary went into labor and gave birth – no rooms, no cover, no family.  And they just had to deal with it. Jesus’ first bed was a feed container.  It wasn’t quite the same, but similar – in Tyler’s need, people didn’t see him as a real person.  People looked at him and were so overwhelmed that they did not dare to engage his need.  It became acceptable for him to become invisible to them as a person, justified.

Wow, it’s so humbling.  I am on my face deeply grateful. God, in Himself - The Father, Jesus and The Holy Spirit– He saw our impossible need and we were not invisible to Him.  He is never overwhelmed by our needs.  He saw us as real people and He didn’t back away or vacantly tell us to move on.  He cares deeply.  He loves us.  And, He stepped up, himself, into our pain, sin, brokenness and death and took care of every need.  He did it before the foundations of the earth, at Calvary and…He still does.