So, it started from snug
in back of the sleek black chariot, smoothly speeding its way to LAX. I asked God what this man needed (my driver).
I was quiet - listened for a long long time and He put it in my heart to pray
for a touch from God that would really change him – letting him know how much
God loves him and wants relationship with him.
Then I asked, “Jesus, do you want me to say anything to him?” As I sat listening, waiting for God to share,
I began to get a word about this person.
The word “Guardian” came. It wasn’t
something I was looking for, but it just popped into my mind. Then, “He protects things and people”. So, didn’t know John from anyone – couldn’t
get much of a physical impression, just the back of his head was visible. Didn’t know if he knew Jesus or didn’t. Didn’t know what “Guardian” or "protecting
things and people meant”, but, was just prompted to share with him. So, thinking (logic here now) – hmmm…how do I
share something with him like this without sort of looking weird or scaring
him? I’ve learned that this is typically
the enemy’s salvo to keep me from stepping into what the Lord wants to do – so I
ignored logic and stepped up with, “So, John – it’s been impressed on me that
you are someone who is a guardian. You’re
someone who protects things and people.”
John, a little surprised but somewhat interested said, “I would say
yes. I was in the same profession for
over 20 years. I’m retired now. Don’t really need the money, but I drive
people around for fun and just extra spending money. He said, yes, I think I would say you have it
right.” He laughed when I shared my name
and its origins – thought it was interesting.
His wife’s birthday is on the same day as mine too. He shared how he has trouble remembering
important dates (thinks all men have this issue) but says he lucked out that
his wife’s birthday is on Pearl Harbor Day and she made it easy on him by
planning their wedding for Valentine’s Day - said it really helps him remember.
I told him I’m very blessed, that I
have a husband who remembers important dates very well. I said, “I’m getting that dates are not maybe
something you’re good with, but details are.
You are observant and take note of things and details (maybe not dates)
but lots of other things.” Then, I asked him what he did. He went into how he had been a police officer
for 20 years, working most of it protecting areas and people in areas where
avocado growers had issues with pot growers using their lands for marijuana. He shared some interesting observations and
things he’d learned about life through that process and said, yes, it was true –
dates he was not good at, but details and observation – he was gifted in those
areas. He shared many things and I
thought, “What a precious person, Lord”. As I listened to John, I also was listening
for Jesus to tell me what He wanted John to know just for him. I heard, “Tell John that I love him very
much and that he is a special son of my heart.
And tell him I just love to be around him and that it’s really not about
anything he does or that he has to do anything – I just like him for him.” So, I began with, “Jesus impressed on me how
very much He loves you and that you are a special son of His heart”. He said, “Well, thank you very much for that”
and while he sounded a little as though he was being somewhat just courteous,
indulging me, I then went on to tell him that he really didn’t have to do anything but that Jesus just likes
him for himself to hang out with him. He
shifted a little then to sincerely being glad.
The last thing of John I remember was his big smile and warm sincere
handshake as he made sure my bags were secure on the walkway and a kind goodbye
and good wishes for my trip and hope I may see him on my return!
Oh, God is sneaky –
yes, He really is! And it’s so good that
He is because surely He uses that to get around my entrenched wrong beliefs as
well as ignorance regarding changes He wants to make in me. Thank you God that you are faithful to
complete the work you began! So, São
Paulo, Brazil – beautiful and horrible.
Deeply gifted and destined by God to be His glory in the world and
terribly bound by things doing all in their power to warp and twist and derail
her from her destiny. I see similarities
in me. And just as God is sneaky in how
he completes my transformation, so He is also in São Paulo. The lovely area of town (Jardim Paulista)
that my hotel was located in had some beautiful and very expensive shops, fine
restaurants (São Paulo is known for its gastronomic delights), art galleries,
and some mighty big banks (whole blocks worth).
It was a hub of activity day and night. And just a few blocks away, interspersed
hovels. Painfully cramped and unfriendly
spaces smothered in poverty and streaked in smoggy dirt. Those buildings not protected by iron fencing
were covered with graffiti (though there were pockets where graffiti artists
had done some of the most beautiful works throughout the city). Though for my company this trip was a whirlwind
in and out visit to customers at the Hospitalar expo – God also had this time
planned to sit with him about, over and for São Paulo. Though there was much corruption and poverty
in the city and outlaying suburbs God also had placed His strategic warriors
there who He constantly partnered with.
They were opening light and truth in dark dark places. I prayed in partnership with them (though I
never spoke to or saw a live one of them in person –that I recognized anyway)
we were joined by God’s spirit together for this area. I don’t know why, but even last year in São
Paulo, I had such a deep connection with God’s presence in a way I have nowhere
else. Truly, I just spend most of my
time in tears there and on my face. It
is a deeply embittered land. Pride in
the culture and horrific wrongs upon the indigenous peoples as well as
government corruption over all of the people – the bitterness is almost
palpable in some areas. And yet, there is such a heart there –
something so fantastic. There is a deep
purity and holiness placed in the DNA of São Paulo. There is a reverence for God’s Holy Spirit
there. Riding on the subway, I could see
the oppression on the people. As I rode,
I prayed God’s refreshing – his rising love and light and sustenance - His
bright truth and holiness - His purity and faithfulness!! He makes a way where there seems to be no
way. He is victorious in the face of overwhelming odds. He never fails and He is fully committed and
He is there!
I had to laugh – I
came alone to São Paulo this year and was skeptical if I would remember how the
subway route went and getting to the convention center and back. I gave myself the option to take a cab if I
was really off. But, thankfully, The
Holy Spirit is completely capable and in charge with getting me to and from
places – He just always needs me to step up.
So, I did – I stepped up. I found
the right counter to purchase my subway tickets and hopped on the train. I even made the transfer and ended up at the
right destination (was there ever any doubt? – easy as cake!). My only difficulty came when I arrived back
at my stop to go to my hotel. For whatever
reason, I took the wrong escalator to the wrong exit up top, street side. The first day it was initially
disconcerting. How I ended up over a
block away from where I entered the subway that morning is still a mystery to
me. The irony is that I was only really about 2
blocks from my hotel – however, I had no idea which direction it was in – no landmarks
stood out to me at all, which made it feel as though it was a million miles
away. Thankfully, again, The Holy
Spirit is my ever present director. Hey,
it’s not an adventure until something goes terribly wrong! So, there I am, looking up and down the
street – not a thing in sight makes any impression of any kind upon me – but inside
I suddenly hear – “cross the street”.
So, I cross the street. Once
there, I don’t really feel anymore sure about anything than before I’d
crossed. Then I get a prompt – “head
left”. So, I head left. Then I see a little car dealership and sense
a prompting to make a right there and I do.
I go down a block and waddayaknow I’m smack dab in front of the street
my hotel is on! BUT, I don’t know which way I’m supposed to turn to get to my
hotel (still nothing looks familiar).
So, the prompt is to go left and – low and behold, down a ways there is
my hotel!! Whew! OK!
God, again, you prove exemplary in your ability to direct and lead – I get
it; I really really can trust you! So,
the next day, after all of my visits and all of my scouting new potentials I
have my notes and leads and I’m headed out of the convention center to go to the hotel and get my bags and head for the airport and I look
at the sky – Ooooh, DARK, is an understatement. Some heavy rain on the horizon. The morning had started out similar to light
Santa Ana conditions in Southern California – a light breeze and 80
degrees. It was beautiful outside, so I
decided I didn’t need my rain coat. About
now, I was remembering how having my umbrella last year was a life saver as we
came out of the exhibition to the downpour.
This year I just prayed I’d make it back to my hotel before the rain
broke. Well, that prayer - it was
answered just a little differently than I’d envisioned. I made it to the subway with just a light bit
of rain hitting me. No problem, I
thought. It will clear before I come out
to walk to the hotel. Then, made it to
the correct stop – Yay! But determined
NOT to make the same mistake I’d made the day before about going up at the
wrong street exit – I purposely took the opposite exit to the one I took the
day before. And though this exit did not
have a covering and the rain was buckets I kept going up, up, up into drenching
rain!! WOWEEE!! OOOH – shocking, soaking – looking around for
bearings – blinding rain – no coverings to stand under – just a tall rigidly
stark and unhelpful row of government and bank buildings with no doorways to
stand in. It was quite laughable,
really. But initially I was not really
laughing. In my business suit and shoes
with my portfolio and purse I stood with my hand over my eyes, shading them
from the downpour – scanning the scene to see where I should head. Same situation as the day before – no idea
where I was or where I should go. Not
one landmark – heck everything was absolutely blurred with water. Suddenly, I get the prompting – “cross the
street”. Now this day, with logic trying to interrupt, that seems a very wrong prompting to me. I think, hey, I took the completely opposite escalator what if I’m on
the opposite side of the street?!! Now,
standing there, in ridiculously blinding rain struggling with myself as to whether or not I’m
going to take the prompting or hang on to my logic – that was pretty comic
(REALLY DECEMBER?!). Haha! SUDDENLY, I
heard the invitation! It was for a dance in the rain – yes,
really! With my hair utterly drenched, weighed
down with water streaming out of it, my glasses completely covered in beads of
rain (not much could be seen through them) and my suit absolutely sodden
through and heavy pulling down on me, rain pouring over me relentlessly - God was inviting me to dance in the rain with
Him. In other settings, of course - dancing in the rain is one of my very favorite things to do. But here, it sounded so ludicrous, so
foolish and humiliating yet so invigorating, refreshing and completely
wonderful to me that I said YES!! And this was no ordinary rain, God
orchestrated a dance in the waterfall with Him! I was completely taken up! My shoes were covered in water as the rain
was so hard it could not run off, but just piled upon itself on the ground in a
splashing pool. I laughed and danced and
my heart was light and joy filled. I
smiled at the people with their umbrellas passing me by – looking at me and my
dancing in my bedraggled condition with pity.
I didn’t care. Then, with the slick uneven walk ways ahead - I surprisingly surefooted my way back to my hotel - guided
exactly as before (haha!). By the time I arrived
the rain had stopped – but my heart was still dancing – dripping, but dancing. I felt a little sheepish as one of the
housekeepers was in the doorway mopping up water as guests came in from the
rain. I left quite a puddle. Then the kind staff gathered my bags for me
(I had already checked out that morning) and I headed to the bathroom to change
clothes and pack up my soaking duds to go to the airport. As I dried off with paper towels and put on
my dry travel clothes (stowing my wet ones in a large zip lock I always bring
with me on trips) I felt invigorated. God not only spoiled me with a special
refreshing dance with Him – he gave me the shower I had no time for or ability
to take prior to leaving. I brushed my
sopped hair and styled it back off my face – put on my rain jacket and headed
for the door. The doormen insisted I should
take a cab, but I had taken the airport bus in and intended to take it out. I asked if they would just make sure it stopped for me. They were kind enough to flag it down and I
made it to the airport with time enough to catch some dinner, exchange my Reals
and pray over some folks in the terminal before taking off. As I sat on the plane that night - my hair was softer than I'd ever felt it and my skin too - I was relaxed and rested on my trip home.
I ponder the things
Papa does. Sometimes that’s the best
part of my trip. It’s like looking at a
photo album together with Him and Him telling me things about it I didn’t even
see when I was in the moment – kinda from a different angle. God made a shift in me on this trip. I was stuck and He knew just what would
un-stick me. I had convinced myself that
I am just not cut out for certain things.
He showed me I was wrong, very wrong.
He showed me that no matter what I think about me – He is always
committed to make me who He’s made me (myself!). I don’t have to be cool, or especially put
together or particularly graceful or know everything – that how I
look to others or myself does not matter - doesn't make me legitimate or qualified. That at
what seems to me to be my most disoriented, directionless, bedraggled, embarrassing,
dripping moments of silliness that I am dear, legitimate, deeply wanted,
treasured, valued, walked with in
measureless ways and greatly enjoyed by Him.
Believe me, a part of my heart needed to know that. He told me, “Whatever side of the street you come
up on, I am always with you, love you and I always lead and guide you!! And, the invitation stands – I always want
to dance with you!!”
.jpg)