More About Feelings

I typically do not write in my blog more than once in a day - but today is an exception.

I wrote on Feelings in July and am prompted to write about them again today. I'm off work sick this week and while the drugs I'm taking help a little with the pain, they also make me a bit dopey - so no driving and definitely no working. Of course I'm leaving myself open to ridicule by this admission, since I'm writing in this condition - I'll leave it to the reader to decide if the drugs have in any way "skewed" my view.

This week 2 of my friends have lost beloved people in their lives. Both of them have been loathe to feel their feelings about it. One friend was struggling and seemed relieved that she had a home project that would keep her busy. She was crying and feeling so sad at the loss of a close friend. The other friend, who lost his dad, was putting a brave face of denial on it by being so up that his dad knew Jesus that he completely pushed out any room for the sorrow of losing him. I often wonder why people push down or resent their feelings. Of course, I'm one to talk, I myself have trouble with them. When someone hurts me, it's the first thing I want to do - get away from those bad feelings. But, I've found I'm not good at pushing my feelings down and ignoring them. They are just always up in my face waving about. Maybe that's a blessing. It means I just have to face them and deal with them, even when I don't like it. I'm not always good at dealing with them - but I do try now more to find out what's behind them.

I have a few friends who have sort of trained themselves from very young ages to try to sort of reject their feelings. Press them down, pretend they're not there, pretend they don't hurt. While at least one of my friends noted above acknowledged that she had these feelings - so many take this "ignore it" approach. I think they may do it because it makes them feel in control or perhaps they worry if they acknowledge feeling and examine them they will be out of control and overwhelmed. I know many who have had wounding - issues in childhood - who have grown up making vows about their feelings. And, even go as far as making vows about ever needing anything or anyone. I love these friends dearly. I know that each of them is on a walk with Jesus and He's showing them that it's safe for them to explore things with Him and to trust Him. He's so good at it. He never ever fails or tires or is discouraged. He is always confident and hopeful. I love that Jesus feels feelings - He never shys away from them. He wept at Lazarus' tomb right before He raised him from the dead. He looked at the rich young man with love. He is joyful - we share that together a lot!!

Feelings - I just think they have a particular role to play in the completeness of who we are and the depth of our experience. While they are not gods to be worshipped, nor are they the plague to be avoided. They just are - they're real and there's usually something behind them.