Invitation To Dance With Love

So, last week, when I read a blog like so many I’ve read before, that shamed, blamed and while truthful on some details fell very short of loving, I deeply longed for someone to just stand up and re-frame the entire conversation. I kept thinking, “Where are the champions who can see the real issue here and look at this in the real light?”  I wanted someone to call up the best, not the worst.  At that point, Papa said, “What about you, December?!”  And...here we are!

Right now, God’s heart is deeply vesting in rising up His children in honor, unity and love with Him and people.  It is the literal hallmark of His Kingdom on the earth. It is the glorification of Jesus, in fact.  While that is His agenda – many of His people are busy pointing fingers at each other (and the entire world) in anger.  All the while the enemy is laughing with glee. When you really look at it – the enemy is the ONLY one who wins in this when people indulge in tearing each other down.  It’s just a continual repetition of the consequences of the fall.   He has strategically focused the attention of people on other people as the problem and objects of blame, shame, contempt, disgust, constant turmoil and unrest.  He has deceived even those who love the Lord into looking at others (even within the body) as objects of shame, contempt and rage.

Don’t get me wrong – bad behavior is not acceptable on any side of this (I no way endorse it).  Even Christ overturned the tables of the money changers and confronted the Pharisees.  But, he also died for them and from the cross asked God to forgive them because they did not know what they were doing. Maintaining a relentless focus on only the symptoms of a well-known problem has continuously proven it is not the way to solve it.  Christ died to reverse all that the fall brought about and God’s Kingdom is unfolding in ever greater measure to bring light and life where darkness and death have reigned. 

The blog post I read recently (Your Husband Doesn’t Have to Earn Your Respect – by Matt Walsh) focused on women’s failure to respect men and in fact culture’s failure to as well.  I do not argue with this – it is true, men have been disrespected and portrayed in ways untrue and wrong.  Matt talks about the crisis level this has come to and reasons why men act out with poor choices due to disrespect.  He describes in great detail the problem and what should be instead.  What he does not do is talk about the underlying cause and how God’s word tells us to address it.  Saying over and over what “should be” is not the same as godly wisdom and instruction.  In fact, who has ever changed the mind of someone on the opposite side of their argument through putting them down?  Please, if you’re out there – raise your hand high because I want to talk to YOU!!  And truly, I’m not just talking about Matt here – I’ve seen plenty of women do the same in posts as well - tearing men up. Heck, people in general love to tear each other up over everything! It is repetitive, tired and just causes people to hide, defend, and find more ways to protect. Display of contempt re-entrenches each side in their own position more deeply. After all, most attack is about fear, control, manipulation and protection in the first place!  Humans feel entitled to defend their own bad behavior in light of someone else’s bad behavior.  Beloved, we are each accountable and answerable for our own actions and choices (and we’ve all made very bad choices – each of us has).  While much of this attitude may stem from the disappointment people have in others, unfortunately, focusing on other’s faults blinds us to the opportunity and responsibility we have within ourselves (If you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself and then make a – change ~ Michael Jackson). 

All of us are on a journey and need compassion and help on that journey.  We also need to recognize that we NEED others.  Others (even oppositional ones) are part of US.  They are not just disposable, inconsequential, objects of oppositional contempt.  We need to recognize the truth and extend compassion and forgiveness to others as we do to ourselves (don’t we somehow get over it in time and let ourselves off the hook? Even when we’re disappointed at times - we justify and move on).  We need to recognize that, hard as we try, we can’t make ourselves to be our best selves – why are we so much more violently intractable with others when they can’t either? We do not have to embrace wrong behavior to embrace another person (even ourselves).  So many get twisted and stuck in their own pain and wounding that they truly believe that only distance, control and manipulation through blame, shame and contempt will keep them safe, protect them and somehow set right those terribly wrong individuals.  Truly, seeing, supporting and calling up the best in others and encouraging them to unite and commit to grow for themselves in Christ into their very best self is the amazing opportunity that we have here, instead.  And, most importantly, personally committing in Christ to intentionally do the same ourselves!

I had scriptures come to mind when I thought about how God thinks about all of this.

Romans 12:21 “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Matthew 10:16 “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.”

Ephesians 6:12  “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places."

Matthew 5:38-48 “Here’s another old saying that deserves a second look: ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ Is that going to get us anywhere? Here’s what I propose: ‘Don’t hit back at all.’ If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, gift wrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously. You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. “In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”

Galatians 6:1  “Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.”

1 John 4:18  “There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and [so] he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love [is not yet grown into love’s complete perfection].”

Beloved – let us be diligent, wise and indulge God’s heart of love and hope and not our wounding and misperception that somehow we can shame or coerce others into doing the right thing.  If people want to be right with full blown indignation and contempt – it can be done and is done daily, ad nauseam.  But, God has chosen and modeled a different way. His people will manifest that they belong to Him by shining His heart.  It is true that people will still make their choices – outcomes are not up to us.  But, fear never overcomes fear – only love can do that.  Our job is not to make others behave – it is to display and invite them into the glorious divine dance with Love.  And Love – Love amazingly does all the rest.