Serious Joy

Did you know joy was serious?  Seems like an oxymoron.  Little grandbaby here - seriously, joy of our lives.  We are so looking forward to him.  He is very precious and much beloved already.

Having joy adds so much to our lives, but more than that, it is a discipline that must intentionally be persued. 

Nehemiah 8:10 ~ Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”

This day is holy to our Lord - do not grieve for the joy of the LORD is your strength.  Relationship and intimacy with Christ can't help but have deep joy attached to it.  In Nehemiah's day, intimacy with God was not as it is today for believers.  Men and Women of his day could only ever hope for an encounter with God through someone who had the Holy Spirit upon them - though God was always present.  Today, every believer has the Holy Spirit living inside them.  In Nehemiah's day - the people had festivals, read scriptures and celebrated for days - booths away from their homes - special set aside times - this brought them the remembrance of why they could be joyful and it was an offering of a sort.  Today, every day is a day of celebration - we are a new creation living Christ from the inside out.  Our joy is complete. Trouble is, believers are not living in joy.  What happened?  Many in Christ do not understand that this is one of the things worked out with fear and trembling - living out our salvation reality. If we really understood who we are and what it means to live in Christ with Christ in us - we would be over the top THE MOST JOYFUL people on the face of the Earth.  Again, it is an offering - a decision we make.  We get to live joyfully in light of all the Christ has done and is for us.

Believers need to persue joy with intention.  It should be a discipline that takes priority, just as rest and peace are disciplines that believers live from in Christ.  In the times we are in - this is a serious matter - not just an optional consideration. 

Hebrews 12:1-3 ~ Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Jesus - for the JOY set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  We get that kind of power in his joy and are seated in heavenly realms with Christ.  We will endure difficult things to give us the opportunity to exercise our joy - strengthening us. 

We have lots to be joyful about - I want to find every bit in every day.  Joy over you!

The Southern California Coastal Plastic Hippo

I am having the most wonderful opportunity of my life.  Here I am, I'm walking.  I have completely no understanding for what I'm moving into. I can't see it in my natural mind in any way that makes sense to me.  I'm assigned to walk with people who speak a completely different language  - I think we share about 8 words in common - though we each have a heart for each other.  And while I find that curious, I am committed to walk with no expectations of them whatsoever.  All I know is that I have my part, I have territory to take and establish and I get to do it with a band on the same road as me.

You see the plastic Hippo?  I love that Hippo.  It represents so much to me.  That Hippo is actually a great symbol.  My husband, daughter Crissy, and daughter in law Ayako went for a hike in La Jolla in March and we found it near the tide pools in the rocks.  You can even see the sand clinging to it.  We thought it was the funniest thing.  There amongst all the beautiful natural setting - the rocks, tide pools, sea stars, little green crabs - there is this plastic toy - a hippo on the sea shores of California. How unlikely a thing to find it there.  Plastic hippo on the sea shores of California - that's me right now.  I'm completely out of place in the natural, I have no natural relationship to my surroundings.  I'm abiding, walking, but staying right there - outside of all reason and sense.  God's bringing something here very special that can't be had in any other way, at any other place or in any other time.  I will not leave this beach until He has given all that He wants me to have and has done all that He will for His own glory through me.  I will be gracious, wholehearted and full of joy.  I will show up enthusiastically and committed.  Because I am focused on staying in the development of a deepening relationship with Jesus.

On the ground - I am am creative and will enjoy every drop of fun in the midst.  I get to. There are giants in the land.  Those giants can't stand - they must fall.  Hippos are very very dangerous - especially when provoked and underestimated (and particularly little tiny plastic ones  :D).

People

People, I marvel at the diversity God has put into people.  Whether they're introverts, extroverts, famous, obscure, flamboyant, humble, tight or loose - the variety is astounding.  I am in the midst of learning more about how to see people and what my part of interacting with them is. 

I find it very interesting that while I learn lots from people who connect with me in very real and deep ways, I also learn a whole lot from those who are very difficult for me to connect with and who I have no natural affinity for.  In the past, I would avoid people who offended, were just too problematic or who I absolutely had no values in common with.  Over time, I've seen that God has purposely put people in my path who I have no love for in my natural self and who do not flow in line with me easily.  He's done this because I must learn to live into the Christ in me loving them. This is proving the glory of God.  I can no longer back away or avoid them.  They are special and precious opportunities.  If Christ is big and overcoming and amazing (as we know He is) then He is all of those things in me - and particularly where I (in my flesh) have a propensity to take offense.  I must choose not to live in my old flesh nature and instead see with Jesus' eyes those giftings, potential and (barring the ability to see any redeeming thing whatever) love them because that's who Jesus is in me!  Even if they never change.  Even if they intend to hurt or harm me.  Even if they make things difficult for me.  Even if they remain in their sins or choose vile things.  I'm so thankful that God loves me though I'm vile and sin - I get to love the same way He does, because He's the one in me doing it.  And, it 's powerful to live this way.  It means that what people do or do not do has no bearing on my direction, intention, actions or attitude.  That means I can actually focus on positive and good things that keep me at peace - I focus on God. 

This is something that definitely takes practice.  Lucky me, I have a whole world to practice on.  Abundant are the individuals who will make my flesh crazy (it's like a little blinking neon sign - "Here - Right Here - Opportunity to Love").  But abundant then are those precious opportunities to see with right eyes.  Judgment has been taken care of at the cross.  None of us (no not one) can live in any way deserving of God's great gift to us.  He is the one who has done everything needed to take us out of sin and make us able to have relationship with Him.  Our whole life is the greatest of opportunities to display the power and truth of Christ in His people on the Earth.  That is a very great priviledge and I want to live into valuing and honoring it more.

Looking for the things Jesus sees when He looks at people, what an interesting and fantastic journey this is!

Intimacy

Finding out some interesting things about intimacy.  Did you know that if you lack intimacy you will fill the need for it with other things?  Oh, yes you will!  Human beings are made for intimacy. It can be particularly painful and harmful when people form misperceptions that keep them from appropriately engaging intimately.  It affects their ability to connect with God, other people and themselves. 

Take me, for instance, I had good parents who loved me. However, I had terrible ear infections from the time I was a baby until well into my teen years.  Part of what I discovered about how I perceived myself as a result of those ear infections is that, though my parents took very good care of me and got me medical care and tended to me - at some point during my many bouts with illness I would cry, quite a lot, seemed like hours (my ear infections were particularly painful).  And, until the meds would take effect (sometimes a couple of days) there was really nothing my parents could do to take the pain away or stop me from crying. I can imagine how hard that was for them and how, even if they never intended it, they could have become very weary, irritated and impatient. As a small child this left me with several faulty beliefs about me, some of which were - "you are too much", "you have to be perfect to be loved", "you have to take care of yourself", and "it's not OK to cry".  Those beliefs (and many others) have affected my life and interactions with others. I'm really still finding out how they have. While I have friends and love people very much - I am very limited in how trusting I am with people. I have a much harder time receiving from others than I do giving to others. Letting things go, making mistakes, being embarrassed in a public way - these have been things I've dreaded and the fear of them have kept me from doing things I really want to do. This blog - admitting things in writing in a public way would have been the last thing I ever would have done prior to some of the healing I've received.  Even with healing, I find that I still hesitate in some areas.  But, the need for intimacy does not just go away, despite fears.  I find some of the ways I compensate are to spend time on Face Book. Sometimes food becomes a way.  Rescuing work situations and being perfect (or at least trying to appear to be) were also ways I've tried to fill the need for intimacy.  Some ways I see others fill it - for men, it can be sexual addictions, for women, relationship addictions (I have some of this myself), with both men and women it can be gambling, games, and obsessions and addictions of all kinds.

So, what does proper intimacy look like?  I'm no expert and still have a lot to learn, but my perception of it is being able at all times to be myself authentically and wholeheartedly without having to control or be perfect or worry about failure, rejection or judgement.  Oh and being open to connect with others - and especially God.  We become our true self in intimacy with God.  He made us for Himself - not for ourselves.  But, we do live as though we are made for ourselves - part of "the fall" selfishness. Please do not equate intimacy with God to religion, it is not. It is relationship not a rule book. We will only be truly ourselves in knowing, loving and beholding God.  Intimacy with Him brings freedom from self centeredness and the only true happiness we can know (see my blog entry on design). 

Looking forward to growing, healing and learning more about all of that!

The Genders (another clue)

Sometimes it takes time for me to deeply understand something that happened right before my eyes. And even then, I know there's always more that happened that I didn't get!  Last night was one occasion like that.  Was lucky to have dinner with dear Papa Joe,our friend Trond and Trond's pastor friends from Norway who were attending a Saddleback event.  It took a little long for our dinner to arrive, but during that time everyone was conversing and enjoying the time together.  We had been discussing various topics when Joe told the one other lady in our party that she would make a good pastor.  She turned red and Joe asked if she'd ever thought about being a pastor. She mentioned that she was a teacher and her husband (who is a pastor and was at the table) agreed that she has gifting in that.  But, while it seemed as though she felt truly complemented and she smiled big and blushed, she also seemed too uncomfortable to seriously entertain such a thing.  At first I was uncomfortable for her as I could feel her discomfort with it.  I noted that Joe likes to see people blush.  I asked Joe what makes him turn red (he said he never does). I don't think I believe him :).  Joe was talking about a book he recently read by Lee Grady (10 Lies Men Believe) and how he was using that in a men's study.  He mentioned how some people believe it's not OK to receive teaching from a woman.  One of the pastors at the table said that while his church allows women to be pastors he didn't think it was good.  Joe asked if anyone thought it was OK to receive ministry from a woman and the pastors seemed to think this was OK. The woman mentioned an instance where she was ministering in a line for women in India where she gave them hugs.  She said all of a sudden, she noticed that Indian men were in her line (several of them) and she stopped ministry (smiling and laughing, she implied that their motives for hugs from her seemed suspect).  I like to see how people think about things like this, because I have a very different view of it.  I truly believe that yes, there are people with wrong motives for things - but that there are also many who are sincere in wanting ministry from the opposite sex because God shines and ministers through them in a way their spirit needs.  I'm still listening to Papa about it and sure enough, today, he was talking to me some more about what happened last night.

I have been talking to God about this for many years (see my blog entry in 2010). Today, God showed me another clue.  When Joe spoke to our lady guest about this, no one really disagreed with him or made a fuss, but there seemed to be a consensus attitude of discomfort with it (even from the woman herself). This didn't seem to ruffle Joe. In the woman's spirit - I could see a part of her that received Joe's words like refreshing living water. I am so thankful that Joe said that.  It was a word well spoken to her from the Lord. And it was good that Joe was bold to say it. 

I thought more about what it meant for a man specifically to tell a woman that she has value and gifting in an area culturally thought to belong predominantly to men. And to say it not caring what someone else might think, especially peers and with no other agenda than to support the truth.  I thought about all the times I could never receive those kind of words, yet a tiny part of me was always there, jumping up and down, longing to believe they may really really be true.

I believe men are fabulous (just as women are).  I love how God made male and female and how - when they are living into being who God made them - there is nothing more breathtaking on this earth! I need men to be who God has made them to be and I love supporting, celebrating and encouraging them in that. I want to see them be all that they can be because good things always happen when they are! I think back to a moment a couple of years ago - I was at a conference and we were all deep in worship and a man in front of me was worshipping in a way I had never seen before.  I literally could not ignore it and my spirit was lifted up to a whole new level of worship as well.  He was not paying attention to any one but God.  His voice was strong and clear and he sang and danced before the Lord with all his might. I felt as though I may have had a glimpse of what King David looked like worshipping God. I'll never forget that, it was the first time I believe I ever saw the power of a man in complete unabashed abandonment to God. It knocked me out.

Still looking forward to learning more about all this!

The Battle Is On!

Been in a time of fierce battle and learning.  Some of the toughest challenges I've ever had in my life have come to me within the last few months.  I would not trade one moment of it though.  Even as recent as the last few weeks me, my family and friends have been under attack (health, finances, jobs, etc...).  But one thing I've taken away in this time is that I can stand!  I am tenacious and have learned to be joyful on this battlefield.  I certainly still have my moments at times, but I am not daunted or discouraged.  My face set like flint - I am moving forward and taking ground!!

It has become an actual encouragement to my heart to see the enemy try so very hard now. He is worried and should be! He does not like ground lost, but all he has left to him are deception and distraction - so he is headed for BIG losses!!  When I'm focused and moving, he stands no chance!

For me, one of the biggest breakthroughs came recently when a situation that I've been under with a lot of stress changed almost over night.  I thought the worst, but kept plugging along putting it back into God's hands and low and behold - I not only benefited, I received favor from what looked like a completely hopeless situation!!! I actually gained BIG ground and saw the fruit of standing firm even when all looked its bleakest.  I've now seen this on so many fronts just within the last couple of weeks (money, jobs, health - praise God!). The biggest thing I've gained is a deeper trust in the Lord. I am moving in victory now and synergy.  Things that used to be lots of effort are now much easier and less tiring.  I can look at things knowing that the exact opposite can be true of what I think about any given situation.  So, my thinking about things is changing - not based on what I see, but what God says.  I love that!!  He is so faithful and knows just what it will take.

I'm looking forward to more joy in battle and seeing more strongholds fall.  They have to go - all things under the feet of Jesus.  God, make me an instrument of your Kingdom peace through joy filled battle!

LOVE - Living Optimistically Viewing Eternally

So, tomorrow is Valentine's Day.  I'm a big believer in loving people.  I just don't believe in limiting it to one day!  Also, I have difficulty with the commercialization of love.  Being the rebel that I am - I just go out and love people every day to spite it!

So, where I think most people get into difficulty about love is when they mistake it for a feeling.  Love is not a feeling.  Our culture makes it very difficult by using the word love for a number of things (I do this too!).  We use it to describe affection, caring, romantic attachment, friendship, lust and liking.  It's really none of those things. Love is an action.  Love is a decision about our attitude - a determined lifestyle really - that we choose to believe the best about and act in accord with doing the best good for someone. Feelings may or may not attend and the person(s) we love may or may not act in ways that make them deserving of love in the world's eyes.  But true love is not based on receiving in order that it give.

The best demonstrater of love is God.  God loves because that is His nature.  He is love. He has done all that we could not (through Christ's death and resurrection) so that we can forever enjoy Him.  He loves unconditionally and His love transforms. The good news - God loves us that much.  If we are not falling down and crying with joy and gratefulness day and night at the goodness of that - then it can only be because we do not yet fully understand it in our hearts.

Lord - open our hearts to know with more fullness Your great love so that we may enjoy you more and be all that you've made us to be.  Your love is better than life.