Spectacles to See

He looked pretty much as he did every day, strength and beauty transcending the fraying edges - a sort of worn luster through wear.  Doggedly ready to drive ahead in the face of fatigue and angst.  "If they weren't such snakes!  They make me sick!", he blurted out.  "Jesus loves them, even if he doesn't love what they do. If you ask Him to,  Jesus will help you see them with His eyes and love them with His love.", I smiled and gave him a big hug.   "Okay, I'll try to be more positive", he said, as he opened the door.  I laughed, "Just listen to Jesus!"

Later that night... "Hey you!!", he said as he put down his things.  "Hey you!!", I said from under the snugly horse throw blanket. He sat down, pulled off his shoes and stripped off his socks, tossing them playfully at the sleeping cat. "Today was worse.  The boss was out and Pete (I can't stand that guy) gave me a real winner.  Re-check done by Dave.  Won't ask Dave to take care of it.  They feed all their favorites who'll do anything but the work, for a fast buck.  Yeah, and who gets to take care of the problems, again? No body cares about their work anymore and if they hurry up and just get it out to make money, they get rewarded"  I smiled at him, motioning him to look at the cat who had gotten up and was now curled up contentedly on his discarded socks.  "But, I just started in getting ready to take care of it and - guess what?",  He said, as he looked at me with a big smile.  "What?", I said.  "I looked down and there was a picture of Jesus and I remembered what you said this morning and I laughed!", his eyes crinkled at the corners as he looked at me.  "Yeah, Jesus, no coincidence you seeing Him.  So, did you listen to what He said?", I asked. A sheepish sort of smile crossed his face.

Thank you Jesus.  You are so good at everything.  You never ever fail in anything you do.  Thank you, thank you that you know every situation and circumstance and you bring people to see you there.  Thank you that we can walk with you in seeing things and people with your eyes.  Those eyes, seeing with them brings a whole different look to the world.  When we put on the "Jesus spectacles" we see so very clearly and act so very much in line with you. It changes everything.

Anointed

The word "anointed", in some Christian circles, has been diluted to a point where it is sort of lost to us. It's the same thing we've done to many other words.  We've made it impotent by applying it to many things that it is not.  Doing that's made it come to have a somewhat nebulous meaning that's almost rather like no meaning at all.

I say all that to say - I stumbled across an individual who I believe has been "anointed" for musical worship in a way I've not seen very often.  I use anointed as in - consecrated or chosen. With anointing, sometimes actual application of oil has been done, though I don't know if this man has been actually blessed with an application of oil. I do know God has chosen him.

It's really quite fascinating to me. I saw this person probably about a year ago, for the first time.  He is a very unassuming person.  Not showy.  Never presumptuous or full of himself with his talent.  He is humble, focused, pure in seeking to worship with his gift. He is rather unconscious of himself and quiet - not a very talkative person.  He has an innocence about him that is very refreshing in such a young person (he's likely no more than 25).  He is connected with God's heart in a way I have not experienced with any other musical worship leader in some ways (and I've seen quite a few of them - some very very talented). He has an innate talent with his instrument, but it's really more about his sensitivity to the Holy Spirit - though he uses his instrument to convey what He sees God doing. He listens intently to God.  He's never rushed or locked in to a set formula or way.  He's watching and when God turns, he turns.  He makes the sound that heaven is making. He adapts a song to fit how the Holy Spirit is leading for. He's playing "from heaven".  I have nearly been frozen during worship with this person playing. Frozen in actual awe of God. There is such a deep place of worship that's entered, that I really can't move for a good portion of the time.  It's not painful, it's the most wonderful.

Typically, this man plays with a group of very gifted worship leaders. They are a very powerful combination, each of them with specific talents and the whole is quite wonderful.  That and a great prayer team makes for a fabulous watering hole for the beloved.  I'm blessed to get to worship with them once or sometimes twice a month.  However, today, I was able to see this person lead worship alone.  I could not wait to go and encourage him to keep on sharing the worship of God in the way he does.  I could tell he felt very unequal to the task - but he really did so marvelously with God's absolute stamp on it. He was not really able to see some of what happened.  There was a spiritual darkness trying to keep worship halted or the lid on it.  He sensed that and felt as though he was struggling to get through. But God absolutely busted him through it.  He did join God by his persistence and brought all of us up into that place with God where heaven  is on earth in reality.  I believe he felt inadequate because he typically does not sing, when he works with the other leaders - though he sings quite well.  Tonight he sang and played and though his voice started out very quiet and tentative - he played as he always does, with great sensitivity.  We all came in to join him and the intimacy of it was quite powerful.  We could actually all hear each other - including him and all of us were so in awe of God's beauty there. So many times, in worship, the music drowns out all of the other worship voices and you only can hear the leaders.  It was so wonderful to hear each of the voices and their way of worship and love of God, even though not all were gifted with star quality singing voices.  Each had a unique portion of adoration for the King and it was wonderful sharing in God's presence. I reveled worshiping God in that way.  That time, so "anointed".   :)  Thank you, God.

Self Gardening

There is something so amazing about a beautiful garden.   It just refreshes and invigorates but at the same time calms and soothes. The picture to the right is from grounds at the Huntington Botanical Gardens in Los Angeles.

We (body, soul, spirit) are a garden. Yep, it's true - made from dust of the earth, water and other elements.  And, we are made to tend and work in our garden.  God gave us His very image, planted every seed of potential into our DNA from before birth and when we live into relationship with Christ we are able to live into the fullness of our original design.  When we are born again - by the spirit - we can see, discern, and understand the things of God and His Kingdom. Now, from around conception in our mother's womb there have been some very nasty weeds and horrible things that have fallen on the ground of our garden, long before we received the tools and ability in Christ to tend it properly.  They've created an almost wilderness forest of deeply rooted and wickedly thorny and tangled BLECK! That's the technical term :)  With some of us there's more "BLECK!" than others.  But don't fool yourself, we ALL have it and LOTS OF IT!  It's most wickedly deceptive when there may be something that (on the face of it) looks beautiful, but on closer inspection is found to be deadly poisonous in nature. The serpent in the Garden of Eden was a deceiver. God originally made Lucifer to be a bright and powerful angel.  He lead worship of God in heaven and was an amazingly beautiful angel of light.  When he became bent in his thinking by believing he could actually take what was God's for himself - he fell, though he still has power to deceive with his light and beauty.  We are so like him in some ways whenever we believe things that are not in line with God's truth.  We are deceived and need to clear the deadly weeds!

The good news is that life in Christ is transformational.  There is an ongoing change that comes about when we are intentional to live into alignment with God,  detecting, rooting up and weeding out those unwanted things that do not belong and are not only NOT fruitful, but are deadly, ugly, painful, draining and take up space and light in our garden. As we grow in discovering and nurturing those amazing and beautiful plantings and features that God has put into our garden - the fruit and real beauty becomes outrageously fragrant and abundant!  The raw good materials for this garden, each component and all of the plantings and features - these have been originally given (put into us) by God. We co-labor with Him (by His spirit) in creatively weeding, tailoring the landscape, putting in the features, tilling the soil, tending the beautiful seeds and seedlings Papa has given us. That takes commitment and work! Really, there's no denying it.  But, let's face it, we are going to engage our energies and attentions into something with our life.  We all know that's true.  Why would we grouse and complain when anything God has for us is far far better than anything we can think up for ourselves!  I mean, He knows the true good desires of our hearts, He made us!  And as we stay really close to Him, He reigns (rains) light and life in our garden and it GROWS.  It makes perfect sense - He's the source of everything!! I always get this image of people who deny God or ignore Him - like a person in a tree at a deadly height, sawing for all that they are worth (living life their way) only to find, startled as they fall, that the limb they were sawing was the very one they were standing on (severed by their own hand). How do we sever our very life? Through deception and ignorance.  Real life, joy and transformation can't help but be everywhere we are when we purpose a gardening lifestyle.  Funny thing, how God designed it so that our own transformation transforms everything else too. Mmmmmm...so Kingdom!

True Confessions of a Girl Scout

Was talking recently with one of my daughters and sharing about things not so generally known about me.   

The one thing she brought up with glee is that I've been arrested. Yep! Disgraceful, but true. Do they let Girl Scouts remain scouts with an arrest? I'm sure they don't give out badges for this.  I was booked, finger printed and mug shot!  But, you'll not find me in any police books or even their records anymore.  I was pulled over as a teen for wearing a headset radio while driving my parent's 66 Volkswagen Bug (doggone radio was out!).  Humiliating, I know.  I had never received a ticket up to that point and was the picture of a "model citizen".  I didn't really know what to do.  I did not realize that wearing headphones was illegal, but agreed quick enough that I had violated the law when the officer told me it was illegal.  I was fresh out of High School and was in the midst of preparing for college finals.  The officer seemed agitated and unhappy before he even started talking to me. I think he was having a bad day. He wrote up my ticket and asked me to sign it.  I noticed when I got ready to sign that it stated that by signing the ticket I was swearing that I would appear in court on the date written by the officer on the ticket.  I took that swearing very seriously.  The date was the same date I had final exams at college.  I told the officer that I had finals and that I could not appear that date. I was really worried about it.  He was really angry, brooked no argument and told me to get out of the car!  I was never so shocked when he put my hands behind me and cuffed me!  Then he put me in his squad car and drove me to the station.  I was completely cooperative and did everything as I was told (my eyes must have been big as saucers!!).  The policemen at the station looked at me in disbelief!  They didn't understand how I got arrested. They asked why I didn't sign the ticket - I told them about the court date and they said I could have just re-scheduled with the court for another date!  But too late at that point -  into the SLAMMER I went!  I called my (then) boyfriend (now my husband) to come bail me out.  He still smiles that impish smile when he talks about having my bail ticket tucked away for posterity.  He thinks it's quite amusing that his little "angel face" was arrested and says he wants to hold on to the ticket to show our grand kids what their Granny was really like! :)  Turns out, when I went to court (rescheduled to a different date), the judge heard the whole story and threw out the case.  He apologized for the officer's obvious bad day and told me my record would not reflect the arrest.  I've since been bonded for various jobs I've held over the years, so, I know my record has been restored. I was very thankful. Just a lesson to be thoughtful and aware of cranky officers who are having a bad day! Sheesh!

STOP! PLEASE READ THIS AMENDMENT TO THE ABOVE PARAGRAPH – ADDED 2/28/13     So, I’ve been asking God to help me root out those things in me that must go.  He’s been completely faithful to tell me and answer my prayer. As a result I now must tell you the parts of this that I wanted to hide and that I specifically lied about so that I could appear less imperfect.  I actually was told a story, by my brother, sometime well before I got this ticket that not signing a ticket may actually get it thrown out (or I believed something along those lines anyway) so while I was concerned about my finals date, – I was also pushing to see if this officer would throw out the ticket.  Also, I lied - the officer did tell me that the court could re-schedule the date for this – but he would not re-date the court date, so I refused to sign the ticket.  He was right to arrest me.  I was wrong to characterize things as though it was entirely the officer’s fault, even though he really was having a bad day before he pulled me over.  It’s obvious I made his day worse.  The fact it (the ticket and arrest) was thrown out is true and that my record is clean - but now the record is truly set straight. I am sorry for lying and telling half-truths.  I pledge to tell the truth from now on.  God is helping me to change and I want to go His way, not mine.  I have many failings, but He assures me that He still loves me and that when I walk with Him through difficult and painful things – He surrounds me with His love, care and restoration. It's ironic, but this is now the COMPLETELY TRUE Confession of this Girl Scout.

The other thing she found really funny is that I used to have a terrible "Potty Mouth"!  Yes, it's very sad but true. Shameful, actually. Behavior is definitely something Scouts address in their pledge.  I wantonly chose to do that. I wonder what might have happened if they ever found out? I used to swear like a drunken sailor as a 5th grader.  I actually became quite adept at swearing as a regular way of communicating on the playground.  It was, "Bleep this" and "That bleeping bleep of a bleeper" and "How the bleep are you today?".  I can truly admit that I was BEYOND in my behavior.  And, it was not just using bad language to express anger or surprise.  I was using expletive words (and quite colorful combinations of them too) to just trail throughout regular conversation in a "matter of fact" sort of way. I think it was a phase I was going through - sort of enjoyed the shock value of it.  I really was quite the well behaved honest and helpful model of a Girl Scout in every other respect.  Hey, I still pretty much am like that. But, my bad mouth ways abruptly changed one fateful day when I nearly slipped up in front of my FATHER!  Oh so NOT gonna happen!  My parents were staunchly mid-western corporal punishment aficionados.  They had no qualms whipping the belt or paddle out and treating you to a whole new definition on your backside - pronto! - when misbehaving took place.  Punishment was swift and painful, but I would say I always felt they were fair - not abusive.  And, though my father would use strong curse words on occasion and my mom would now and then say something when taken by surprise (not quite as strong of language as dad), my brother and I did not in any way mistake their behavior as an invitation to use that language for ourselves around them.  OH NO!  We clearly knew the dividing line between what they could do and what was expected of us (make no mistake about it)!  But, for whatever reason, on the school playground (and really nowhere else) I slipped into this ugly habit.  Well, the day I came face to face with my near impending doom was when I almost casually slipped out a prime curse word in mid-sentence right in front of my Dad!  I caught myself before it flew out, but that near slip was enough to scare the P-Doodle out of me!!  Whew! Fear of God and gratefulness for not getting caught all came flying out of nowhere that day!! I knew I had dodged a bullet and I was hasty in repenting about it too (though it's no real credit to me, repenting when nearly caught!).  I wasted no time in determining never to use that language again and I not only never used it again on the playground I did not use it anywhere at any time.  I turned over a new leaf, speedy quick!  Now, I wish I could say that I have never ever since used bad language.  As a younger adult and at prime moments of insanity - I can say I have used words, on occasion, very unnecessary and very unbecoming.  But, thankfully, truthfully, it is now a thing of my past. I do not find it's even part of my thoughts anymore, even when cut off on the freeway!  Funny how things can change.  Funny how when you are motivated and put your mind to it they change MIGHTY FAST!

Good to share things about human nature and the silly things we do.  And, good to be authentic and real about real things.  I enjoyed the time with my daughter, we had a good time laughing and pondering why we do some things.  They say confession is good for the soul.  It is well with my Girl Scout soul.  :)

The Letter

Beloved,

Maybe you know me.  Maybe you don’t.  I have always known and loved you.  Long before you were born, I knew what every one of your days would hold.  I crafted in my heart your design and my vision for who you would be, putting part of me into you.  I reveled in the role you would play in the world and eternity.  When you were conceived I rejoiced that you had stepped into time.  I formed and shaped you with great care in your mother’s womb. When you were born, my excitement and love overflowed!  I smiled and danced to your long anticipated life in the world!

When you were a baby, I walked with you as you developed and grew, wonder and discovery in every moment.  I cared for you and protected you, delighting in your “ah –ha” moments and holding you through your tears (catching every one). 

I saw your attempts over the years to venture out and try new things.  I sang over you with joy when you manifested the beauty and creativity I placed in you and stayed close by your side grieving, as you did, moments of deep pain, hurt and injustice when you withdrew, feeling un-seen and un-valued.

You are priceless to me.   No one else is committed to you in the way that I am.  My love and care for you is life-giving and transformational.  When you give yourself wholeheartedly to me, I bring you into line with your glorious original calling and design.  You are one-of-a -kind, there is no other like you.  No other person will ever replace you in my affections and only I can appreciate every detail of who you are.   My heart is always for you and I am jealous for you to be who I’ve made you to be.  You will be restless and unsatisfied being anything else!  Your own vision of you will never match the astonishing true potential you are in me.  Your very design requires relationship with me, though I will never force that.  That doesn’t mean I am not relentless in pursuing you, but, I invite you because I want you to come from a real heart commitment on your part.

Come to me.  When you understand and see my heart for you it will not be difficult.  Give yourself to me, and we will begin a wonderful relationship and the process of washing away any hurts, worries or troubles.  My powerful love, peace, joy and provision overcome every deficit and need. You will shine with the brilliance I designed in you!  You don’t have to “get better” to come – I love you just as you are, right where you are.  Come – just come.  Don’t wait!  See me here – turn around!  I’m waiting with arms open, for you!  See my eyes of love over you.  I’ve been longing to show you amazing things.  I will bring you such life and wholeness!  You cannot do it on your own and were never designed to.

I’m standing here right now looking to see what you will do with this letter.  I’m knocking on the door to your heart – open to me!!  Open and I will come in and dine with you.  I will make my home in your heart and you will never regret it.  Make my joy complete and your own as well!

I love you,
God (The Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit)

How Then, Shall We Live?

I was with a beautiful group of the beloved earlier this month and we were looking at Goals for the year and talking about how we live (what actions we take) in the light of who Jesus is for us.  What a great discussion time that was.  I shared the action I had taken some time back as a result of who Jesus is for me.

I remembered the time in 2006 when a friend of ours (my husband and I) was going through a really difficult time  - his father had just passed away and he was taking care of his mom, who had dementia.  I was listening and talking with him on the phone. I asked him if he knew Jesus.  He was somewhat skeptical, but was so wrapped up in his emotions that he did not want to talk about God.  He could not leave his mom alone and his own grief over his dad and the care of her was crushing him. He did not know Jesus. All I kept seeing, after I hung up with him, was that he was driving at full speed toward a chasm and the bridge was out. It brought up such a welling of compassion for him.  He didn't really want to talk, but God prompted me to pray over our friend and write to him about Jesus.  After I wrote our friend, God tapped me on the shoulder about all the other people in my life who were also speeding blindly down the same road toward that chasm.  As a result, I prayed over and wrote letters to all of our family members, friends and all my co-workers at the time.  I got into trouble about it at my work.  Some of my co-workers were of other religions (my human resources had a talk with me and forbid me to use our company mail boxes for the letter.  They felt I was proselytising).  I had some letters left to give out at that point, so I asked Jesus how I should do it, since I could not use the company mail boxes.  He told me to just walk up to my co-workers - tell them I had written a letter for them and ask them if they wanted it.  All the ones who were left said yes and I gave out all the letters I had - even to my management! :) 

One friend of my husband's, who I had never met, also received one of the letters.  I had never heard from him directly about it. But, one day, about a year after I'd sent the letters, I got a phone call.  A woman on the line was the friend's sister.  She told me that her brother had passed away recently.  It had come about fairly suddenly and was unexpected.  She and her family had gone to his home to take care of his belongings.  In the process, she found the letter.  She wanted me to know that she was a Christian and had always prayed for her brother to come to know Jesus.  She also wanted me to know that in his brief stay at the hospital before he passed, that she had the chance to see and talk to him and that he had read the letter and come to know and trust Jesus.  He was so at peace and happy when he passed.  She was so thankful and we were praising God!  She asked if it would be alright to bring the letter to his funeral for family and friends to read.  I told her, of course!

Just recently, at my company Christmas party - one co -worker's husband came up to me and shared that he had come to know Jesus several years ago and how he had not realized that he needed Jesus, but found out how much he did. He did not mention the letter and I did not really connect his conversation with me that night to the letters to all of my co-workers, but God brought it back to my mind when I shared about it recently.

That discussion was a tap on the shoulder from God.  I can't just write a batch of letters and neglect all those God's brought into my life since then!  So, once again, I am writing letters.  One letter I will be posting here on my blog very soon.  The other letters will go to all the new friends and co-workers who did not get this letter before.  Does it expose me to ridicule, or misunderstanding or resentment?  Sure it does. But, that is not even a consideration when I think about so many speeding toward that chasm blindly, with the bridge out - no signs, no guard blockade, no safety net! Seriously - wouldn't you stand in the road and try your darnedest to stop someone in that real scenario? The eternal consequences are dire.

What is real love? It is a choice to act in accord with the very best good of someone else - no matter the cost.  Do you know someone speeding toward the chasm? Be bold - share Jesus with those put into your sphere of influence.  It doesn't have to be a letter (though letters have quite wonderful longevity and can be stumbled across or pulled out and read again, sometimes at just the right moments in a person's life), but even a phone call or conversation over a cup of coffee with someone who needs to know - it counts!  Take Action!!   And if you don't know Jesus - read the posts in my blog and look for the letter that will be on my blog very soon. 

How then, shall we live?

Embracing Others

I always love traveling to other parts of the world.  It gives me a fresh view of things.  Recently in Germany, I saw many  different people from all over the world. It reminded me of the Body of Christ in many respects.   While I was happy to see people working together and forging new relationships and growth, I also saw the ugliness of people who do not like other people groups or agree with their practices.

The heart of things seems to come to issues of offense.  Just as one culture values certain things others do not value the same things.  For instance, some cultures do not stand in lines (they rush to push in front in a crowd) and treat traffic lights and signs with little to no respect or attention.  While other cultures are very rigid in respecting not only who got into line first, but many will defend someone else's position in ques or lines and expect strict adherence to traffic law and signs.  Each culture may look at the other as being rude and disrespectful while, in essence, it's not personal at all.  Cultures are just different and value different things.

I have been very sad to find that I have taken offense at times with other groups in the body of Christ.  Some have taken offense with me too!  But, I am learning that I can let go of pre-conceived notions about what others believe and embrace the things that we have in common.  I can also love them and honor them.  If I don't agree with everything, I can just be honest in saying I believe something different with grace, and let it be.  I want to do more of that in 2013.  I'm going to get lots of chances!!

I need my brothers and sisters in Christ and I want to support and encourage each one to be who God made them to be.  I pray for God's wisdom, guidance and revelation in this new year of amazing opportunities.  Opportunities to grow in loving people very different!  Some risk involved in that - but then, can't be a true adventure without some risk!  I'm up for it - hope you are too!