It's a TEST!

The car won’t start, you’re running late, the baby is screaming. You get the car started and while baby is still screaming, you believe you are moving forward and are just about convinced the reign of terror you are in is over when - BOOM!  Dropping baby off you break a heel lose balance and fall scraping your hands, cutting an arm and bruising your face. Whew!  An over the top level of ridiculous!  This is a hypothetical scenario, but, whenever this sort of thing happened I used to land at, “REALLY?” Some years later I congratulated myself that I’d grown and graduated to, “This is a test” when these things would come.  Now, now I am truly humbled.  It actually took until today. Today Papa showed me. Thank you, God for persisting with me.  These situations are not places to stare skyward, shake a fist and say “Really?”. Nor are they a test to see if you remember all the things The Holy Spirit has taught you up to this point in your walk.  They are, in reality, the place where Jesus runs to you, offers His hand with eyes of deep compassion, care and understanding as He’s cleansing, healing, comforting.  Not a test, an invitation.  I’m invited to receive comforting, help and care from God – things I’ve been unaware are even available to me from Him in those places at times. They are just a highlight of an invitation to an ever unfolding real relationship all the time.

If a good friend was present as you fell on your face and got hurt – they’d run over to you and express their concern and sympathy, ask what you needed, how you felt, they’d help you up, help you patch up or get you to help and express their sadness to you that it happened and empathize how it must hurt.   God is our very best friend.  He knows us better than we know ourselves and He cares! 

For so many years I thought of these hard things – really over the top difficult places - were a set up, God testing me to prove to me that I was able to be an overcomer in Him.  Trouble is, while He is growing and raising me to be an overcomer, it’s never something He was making me fit to do separate from awareness of Himself or His presence, love, compassion and help.  I need Him and to know He is present.  It’s not smarter or better for me to ever think I am being toughened up or strengthened so I can go through these things without awareness of Him – silly me, somehow I thought it was!  Wow! BAM! – Misperception blown up!  That was a big one!

And it all started with that psalm - “As the deer…”  I didn’t even want to take on the exercise.  I went to answer the questions and felt disconnected from God.  I set it aside, put down my pen and all of a sudden God started downloading thoughts about His real desire to satisfy my real thirst and need.   Could have knocked me over.  I began typing them out and was astonished to see that He was reminding me I’m made for HIM!  I can’t do life by myself – I am not designed for it and I will die of thirst.  Funny, I’ve known that at some level, but, I saw it so differently.  I always thought, I was supposed to be able to do things alone at some point if God had taught me.  He was never teaching me to do things alone.  I am never going to outgrow my need for God.  That is somehow very reassuring.  He’s actually growing my awareness of Him and changing my very heart in that process.  That’s true grace, the kind of goodness your efforts can’t earn.

Invitation - not test.  RSVP - YES, to your Invitations, God!