I was reading remarks about the Women’s march on Washington
today. I understand all about the divide
in women and the offense taken by both sides around many issues, but especially
abortion.
Something that struck me is that I see the same old pattern
in conversations, remarks and attitudes.
Both sides are trying to shame, blame and are hate filled toward one
another – thinking that belittling and beating the other up with their “brand”
of right should automatically fix the situation or somehow persuade the other
side that they are wrong and to fall in line with them. As it was in
2014, when I wrote my blog post “Invitation to Dance With Love” about men and
women in this type of battle, the same thing is true here and in so many other of our society’s
issues – we need a re-framing of this whole conversation.
First, let’s take a look at a big part of what’s
happening. FEAR! It’s the biggest part of the entire situation
on both sides. Fears on one side that
women are devalued, unheard, victims, abused, without rights, pawns,
marginalized, locked down, unfairly compensated, held back and legally
prevented from making their own personal decisions – their personhood removed. Fears on the other side of millions of
voiceless and helpless Human lives being ended as women embrace removing
personhood from humans in the womb and legalizing their disposal as a way to
keep from losing their personhood. Only one thing takes care of fear and that is love.
These fears are not baseless and you can see that it is an
epic struggle. The fears on both sides
are valid. Women have undergone real
discrimination and been abused in the world since ancient days - they have been de-humanized all over the
world and we’ve seen the horrible results as they are used as animals, killed
as property and victims of war, hurt, scorned, abused, dismissed and I, as a woman,
can tell you that we still endure it and it is real and it is wrong . To say that women, even in the US, are free
of it – that is a lie. Pointing to it
being less than in other parts of the world, does not mean it is absent. It should not happen and by no account is it
right that it does. The estimates of Human
life ended by induced abortion number into the millions. Wikipedia sites the CDC as noting ~51 million
reported induced abortions in the U.S. from the years 1970 thru 2013. Real lives lost by someone else’s
choice. The insidiousness of these lives
being taken by de-humanizing is chilling.
It is wrong – by no account could it be right.
So, what I say to women and men too is this – we are better
than this – on both sides, we are. Take
a deep breath and exhale a long time. To refute, dismiss or take the Personhood of
any human is wrong. There have been many
actions that were wrong actions taken in the name of a good cause on both sides
of the women’s issues. Two wrongs do not
make right. No one has clean hands. None of us are perfect or blameless. And, we need each other. Let me say it again – WE NEED EACH
OTHER! No one is dismissible or disposable
or a non-person in this. Isn’t it ironic
that when we treat someone on the other side of an argument from us as though
they do not matter it ultimately results in us taking sides with the very thing
that we are fighting against? We don’t
want to be marginalized and if we marginalize others we buy in to the very
thing we hate and fight. We can learn to
walk much better in this together – we CAN!
We do not have to buy in to shaming, blaming, devaluing or de-humanizing
each other or anyone else. It takes
guts, it takes courage, and it takes badass vulnerability. It takes love. It takes wanting to remain connected over being right. Do we have it? I believe that we do! Is it overnight? Maybe not, but maybe it
could move even faster than we think!
And, so, while I am not condoning the wrong choices of any
person on any side of this, I’m taking action right now:
I give thanks for all those in the world (both women
and men) who cared deeply enough about women being valued and respected and wanting
the de-humanizing of them to stop in the world that they stood up and took life
giving action to do something about it.
I want to thank them for making a difference for me and my generation
and generations to come. I want to connect in good ways to embrace the
spirit of anyone who has that true heart desire to bring value and respect to women everywhere and I honor those who take
action in ways that lift up, give life and honor all those around them in the
process – you are my hero.
I give thanks for all those in the world (both women
and men) who cared deeply enough about voiceless helpless people in the womb
being valued and respected and wanting the de-humanizing of them to stop in the
world that they stood up and took life giving action to do something about
it. I want to thank them for making a
difference for me and my generation and generations to come. I want to connect in good ways to embrace the
spirit of anyone who has that true heart desire to bring value and respect to humans in the womb and I honor those who take
action in ways that lift up, give life and honor all those around them in the
process – you are my hero.
Is it heartbreaking that women and humans in the womb are still devalued and disrespected? It is heartbreaking and wrong. I hate that both happen. I will not hate people on either side of the argument. I will continue to stand for both having dignity and honor, and, I'm choosing to do it in love. You can march with hate or dance with love. Me, I'm dancing and still inviting others to Dance with Love. Love does exponentially so
much more in ways that are unexpectedly wonderful.