The "Sow it to Grow it" Challenge!

Isn’t it funny? We know that when we plant onions we aren’t expecting strawberries to pop out.  And when we plant an apple tree, we aren’t looking for string beans to form on it.  The truth is, what you sow is what you expect to grow!  No real surprise there.  And I am going to point out that what is true in nature is true spiritually.  Yep, it really is!!  So, going off of that – why, why, why, do we wonder at the crops we’re growing?  Why do we sow disappointment, fear, anxiety, tiredness, sarcasm, hate, anger, impatience, pride, mistrust, contempt, shame and wonder that our crop contains not one piece of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, etc..?

OK, please let me confess.  I have tried to reap a good crop by planting bad seed - idiotic, I know. I have responded to the world with what the world dishes out.  I tried to protect, combat, defend and live in a way with the world’s ways by doing the same (only from a self-righteous churchyosity point of view).  Hideous seed!  Not only did it not change one thing in the world, I actually reaped a bumper crop of UGGG-LEE unto myself!  So, yeah, I know about this first hand.  Lil farmer December did not do well at that.

But, a few years ago I had an absolutely amazing opportunity to do the complete opposite.  So guess what – against all my doubts and despite all my fears – I did it.  I stepped out and listened to God’s leading and sowed compassion, outrageous faith, love, joy, patience and “winsome words” in the face of hatred, contempt, sabotage, fear and rejection.  AND…I am STILL REAPING AN AMAZING HARVEST!  And boy is the fruit sweet! I literally have to pinch myself to make sure I’m awake at times.  I’ve never seen the likes of it!  And the world has shifted. I literally went into this with no real expectation of seeing some things change.  I thought, “Okay, God is big and He can do what He wants to here”. But I didn’t think it would be personal things for ME.  Really, I never expected it.  I found that not only did hate turn to kindness, but contempt and rejection turned to acceptance and honor.  And it was not only personal (both in me and around me) but a change for many others and just the whole atmosphere of things in general too! How does that happen?  The seeds, my friends.  Seeds can only produce after their kind.  And, when you do it under God’s direction and guidance – He provides the sunshine, water and all other things needed.  And isn’t that good news?!  Cause, hey, you plant knowing what you’ll get and in line with what God wants to do!! 

So, here it is, I AM CHALLENGING YOU!!   Take the, "Sow It To Grow It" Challenge!!!  Pick the most difficult, discouraging, painful and negative situation, person, place in your life right now – and daily sow love, peace, joy, encouragement, patience, faith, trust, goodness, honor, gentleness into it with intention.  I did this for an extended period of time, but even if you try it for 30 days, it will reap rewards.  But to see a really amazing harvest – go for longer – set a longer goal and the harvest will be much larger.  Hey, map it out if it helps you be mindful – take a calendar and put a daily action you’ll take or note one daily after you’ve done it to keep track – check off a daily action. Find ways (direct or indirect) to sow with gracious generosity into these places, people and/or situations.  Be creative – you don’t have to do something direct with a contentious person to sow into them.  I did many things anonymously and it produced some miraculous things!  And, little seeds can grow some of the biggest plants – so don’t think it takes million dollar gestures to reap big rewards.  In fact, some of the smallest, but sincere efforts are rewarded with the biggest yields!! I loved blessing people and praying for their abundant favor, gladness, joy, health and provision.  And, writing encouraging things anonymously.  Providing little things needed like honor and humility in holding someone else up.   And, I sat with the Lord looking at the person, situation, and place and asking for His eyes for it.  I did things from His point of view and with His vision for it.  In most cases, initially, there was no evidence of anything but barren ground.  And there was where I planted good things with trust that they would grow, leaving it to God as to when and how.  I can’t tell you how lush the growth and harvest has been, but I’m hooked now!  And, I encourage you to take note of what grows, as far as you can tell - but don't hold your expectations of how or what it will be. Sometimes if you are in a situation where you can't see directly, it may be more difficult, but some of those things are the most rewarding when you find out later how things changed. And, some things we won't know til we meet in eternity, but they're still worth sowing and growing! Farmer December is even now sowing into some really hideous ground with cheerful expectancy!!  Oooh – yep, sprouts coming up all over!! Whoot!! Whoot!

So, now, it’s YOUR TURN!  I challenge you!!  Take this challenge and you will be astonished – guaranteed!!  I’d love to hear how you do, so, if you take this challenge, write a response here to let me know how you did it and how it went!   Great or small – share your harvest and it will multiply the harvest to others!!!  The more outlandishly unlikely the person, situation and/or place, the more astonishing your results will be!!! :D Come on – nothing to lose but lots to gain!!!  GO FOR IT!!

CH...CH...CH...CH...CHANGES!!!

So, a couple of months ago, I was working away on some reports (Normal day in every respect). Not really paying attention to anything but numbers. Out of the blue a tsunami wave of despair came over me.  I mean serious and sweeping.  Knocked the breath out of me – it was almost physical.  I was just about to move into the despair when God tapped me on the shoulder and said, “See how scared the enemy is?”  Sheesh, am I thankful God got my attention.  I began rejoicing and praising!!!  Now, mind you, this wave did not cease – it was pretty relentless, but with every thought of hopelessness that came through my mind I began to see the actual reality that God is unfolding instead and BOY DID I GET ENCOURAGED!!!  I see how much the ground is being established and how it's moving the Kingdom forward and THAT matters to the enemy.  It was fantastic and a great opportunity to practice staying focused.  If God had not gotten my attention right away I would have been hurting.  But, because He did, I did not get distracted or caught up in enemy’s energy draining nonsense.  AND I enjoyed seeing the progress and impact of things and participating in rejoicing and praying in line with it.  God you are SOO GREAT!  I do get attacks at different times – I usually recognize it quickly, but there are times where I sort of wander about under the horrible cloud until I finally begin to see it and say, “Hey, wait a minute!”  Sometimes my flesh gets triggered from old woundings and it’s completely me.  But, the enemy of my soul also has a stake in seeing me sidelined and distracted (it’s really all that’s left to him after Jesus trounced him).  He can’t possess what belongs to Christ, but he certainly does try everything in his power to keep those in Christ from being effective. He’s seems quite successful in this with the church in some ways...but not for long!!!!

One place I see lots of sidelining in the church is with the focus on shame.   The enemy keeps God’s people tied up in this a lot and it literally keeps people from living into their real identities!  In some church circles I hear, “We know we’re not worthy and there’s nothing good about us”.

It is a fact that all of our worth is in and from God.  Our value is established by how much God loves us.  He values us so much that He gave His only Son for us!  And, He wants us to be forever one with Him.  Now try to wrap your head around THAT good news!!!  We are no longer in the same state we were before receiving Him either – heck we are now on a road growing into the image of Christ!  But some talk sure sounds like we ought to be ashamed (Hmmmm…where’s that coming from?)!  We are a new creation and old things have passed away. I don’t mean to say we should not get real about sin – but, people in the church generally are not always getting real with their specific sins at all.  In fact I would go as far as to say that in some cases I suspect people who assign themselves to be the “attitude” police are really fending off addressing specific sins by donning the mask of false humility.  Regularly saying “I’m not worthy” sounds religious and humble. But, it’s a little insidious because we may really feel it generally and yet making such a general statement sort of lets us off the hook from the truly tough job of digging and uncovering very REAL specific sin that still plagues us.   

The church should be the safest place to be real about sin (and OHHHH it’s changing!!), but, in some places it’s still about a contest to “look” good enough to qualify for things rather than being real and authentic about specific things that bind us in order to get free of them. God's working on these pockets of resistance.  These places will not be immune to getting GRABBED and thrown down on their faces in tears by the goodness of God. Nothing wrecks like God’s goodness!  It’s what brings men to repentance!

Now, on the jaw-dropping outrageous side of things – God, in His BIGNESS is shifting the landscape and paradigms where all of this nonsense exists and moving us into a whole new territory.  I am so excited about THAT!  Yes, the Church – The Bride of Christ - mind sets are shifting and people are having God’s spirit poured out upon them and they are responding in amazing ways with God’s power demonstrated in much needed ways!  There really is NO better time to be alive – at least that’s how I see it.  The world has an agenda, but it will never override the overcoming KINGDOM agenda!!  So world, enemy, – do your best!  Every effort will be used to refine and renew The Bride until she rises pure and invincible!  Haha!! So great!

My Daddy

Shoulders so strong and arms so wide

I always felt safe and loved inside

With a voice so deep and a stance so tall

Most people’d think twice before bluffing his call

He loved all kinds of swimming, he’d give rides on his back!

And when we’d go fishing he’d bring back a pack!

As his daughter I feared when my first date came knockin

Cause there was ol dad - rifle in hand - in his chair just a rockin

So deep and so loud country songs in the shower 

Why our neighbors all over knew dad’s great lung power

He enjoyed making projects, had an inventive mind

And his friends they’ll all tell you, my dad was so kind

He’d spoil dogs and hummingbirds – he was an animal lover

And his image of a tough guy – well that's mostly a cover

To protect a tender heart, both loving and giving

He overcame lots of stuff and learned about forgiving

My dad was affectionate, fun and good cheer

His humor was dry and his laugh was so dear

Oh the times that we shared and trips that we made

The laughter and memories  - not one would I trade

Though there are things that my dad did that hurt and caused pain

I can’t help but love him, forgive him and remain

His daughter through the thick and the thin of this life

Though I’m happily married - long a mother and wife

And when they ask, do you miss him, I’ll answer quite true

Yes I miss him so much – yes I miss him I do

But I know where to find him when I’m missing him so

I just look right at Jesus – he’s right here – don’t you know?

And my dad’s right here with him, so joyful and free

One found in Lord Jesus can’t be lost – don’t you see?

And one day I’ll be like him – face to face with our Lord

With God’s great adventures – we’ll never be bored!

Thanks, God, for my papa, how the years went with speed

Til we meet again, love to you daddy – from your little girl Deed

The Swirling Vortex

Ahh, the “Swirling Vortex of Despair”.  I know it well.  I’ve spent many hours of my life there.  Its gravitational pull is immense. The insidious nature of it is the underlying entitlement or justice based enticement that seems to drag you into the path of its outer edges – gradually spinning you round and round and picking up speed and velocity as it throws you relentlessly toward the center where you are pulled down under with seemingly no hope of escape!  It whispers in your ear promises of satisfaction and justification, if you just spend time indulging it, just a little! After all, you are justified! Hah! From experience, I can tell you it is never satisfying and a little never stays a little.  I have yet to ever really "feel" better indulging it.  It’s the old “bait and switch”.  Promises of satisfaction turn to a never ending hamster wheel of anger leading to self-righteousness leading to self-pity and regret, then the coup-de-grass – despair which leads to the whole thing on a never ending auto loop! It’s exhausting, depressing AND unnecessary!

I’ve had moments recently where I’m on the edge of that vortex and despite my complete understanding of it and how it REALLY is, I sometimes am tempted.  But I’ve taken measures to make sure I never get close enough to that sucking noise!!  Thanks to my dear friends and those I’ve asked to keep me accountable and let me know if I’m wandering anywhere near, I am guarded and my heart of joy is sustained!

So, add to that my new mind set!  Yeah – a new mind set completely looks the “Swirling Vortex of Despair” in the eye and says, “Ah, Ah, Ah!  SO NOT wasting precious moments of MY life on YOU anymore!”  Did you know, resentment, complaining and despair are the worship and praise of the DARK Kingdom?!  Oh, they most certainly are!  This actually became a realization for me.  I then woke up and found I don’t have to spend one moment of my life “indulging” this.  I get to choose how I’m going to show up to the moments of my life and I’m doggone choosing love, beauty, compassion, hope, joy, creativity and wonder for MY moments.  Hey, my moments here ARE LIMITED and I am no longer accepting one thing less than AMAZING for the one's I've been given!  God promised, so why would I turn away from His TRUE outrageously glorious PROMISES for empty meaningless and falsely promoted despair?! That would just be ridiculous!  Unfortunately, so many times I’ve not only accepted but embraced so much less.  Why?  Secret revealed, I thought it was going to somehow soothe and satiate my angry hurt self. Never happened.  Problem – my angry hurt self actually just became more inflamed and found new reasons to feed into the angry hurt whirlpool maelstrom!  Why do we act as though venting or just getting things off our chest will somehow make us feel better?  Stuff and Nonsense!  And, there’s that “OTHER” lie that makes me feel, initially, as though indulging love, beauty, and all the other amazing things God has for me will somehow be an impossible “Herculean” effort on my part!  Ha – that is a laugh!  Actually, just starting into the GOOD things immediately soars my spirit up so quickly and firmly to that overcoming buoyant joy – it is fantastically fool proof!  I, for one, am setting my mind on this!  I have a better answer – I GET TO go out and BE marvelously JOY FILLED in my moments INSTEAD!  Is there actually a comparison? REALLY?!  Not even a question.  Check it out and let me know what you find! 

Measure the Measureless

In May, this year, I was invited to share my testimony at a women's retreat. I prayed about it and God prompted me that I should do it. I took some time to prepare a whole talk on that and three days before the retreat, God woke me up at 2AM and shared the Ephesians 3 scripture below.  He then gave me an extended version of "The Letter" (see my blog - The Letter from February 2013) to share.

He recently prompted me to share it here on my blog with you! So, here it is. Take time - listen to God's heart for you. He's been longing for you to really go deeper with Him.  Receive it!

Take a moment and sit in these verses.

Ephesians 3:14 - 21

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Long ago, Paul prayed this prayer for the Beloved in Ephesus AND for us (we’re the Lord’s holy people!).  How POWERFUL it is to agree (YOU and I agree with Paul, when we pray this) for each other and all of the Beloved in Christ.  We agree in prayer for God’s glory to strengthen us – give us power through His Spirit in our inner being so that Christ dwells in our hearts through faith,  and in love that power strengthens us to own and explore the dimensions of Christ’s love (how limitless those are!) and to know practically - through personal experience, His love (that is beyond all knowing) that we may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God – the fullest measure – flooded with God’s presence.  OK, so let’s just stop right there for a minute and think on that deeply.  Filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.   How amazing is that?!!  This is US  - you and me - that the Almighty, Everlasting, All POWERFUL one and only I AM wants to make His home in.   And not just a smidgen of Him, or whatever we think will fit, of Him - but – ALL OF HIM.  WOW, the goodness of God is just so good! It is sobering, His plan and design for us, His people.

And, Paul, he recognizes our limitations in looking at this, so he thoughtfully reminds us that God is the one able to do immeasurably more than ALL we ask or IMAGINE – wow, what could be beyond imagining?!  He has covered every base, it seems.  Thank you GOD!!! 

So, today, I want you to rest, expectantly and open yourself to receive God’s heart for you.  We receive again by faith what we already have, by God’s doing.  God, show us your glory!!!  Empower us to have the fullest dimensions of your love and self!  Breathe on us – Holy Spirit!   

Beloved,

Maybe you know me.  Maybe you have only heard or read about me.  I have always known and loved you.  Long before you were born, I knew what every one of your days would hold.  I crafted in my heart, your design and my vision for who you would be, putting my image - the very stamp of who I am into you.  I reveled in the role you would play in the world and eternity. When you were conceived I rejoiced that you had stepped into time.  I formed and shaped you with great care in your mother’s womb and protected and watched over you. When you were born, my excitement and love overflowed!  I smiled, sang and danced over your long anticipated life emerging into the world!

When you were a baby, I walked with you as you developed and grew, wonder and discovery in every moment.  I cared for you and protected you, delighting in your “ah –ha” moments and I held you close to me through your tears (catching every one). 

I saw your attempts over the years to venture out and try new things.  I sang over you with joy when you manifested the beauty and creativity I placed in you and stayed close by your side grieving, as you did, moments of deep pain, hurt and injustice when you withdrew hiding in fear, feeling shamed, rejected, UN-seen and UN-valued.  I was your fortress protection there and I shielded you and tenderly held you there – though you may have had no awareness of me.  I have many things to reveal to you about this – things that will set you free to be yourself.

You are priceless to me.   No one else is committed to you in the way that I am.  My love and care for you is life-giving and transformational.  When you come to me and spend time exploring the width, length, height and depth of my love, and really know that love in tangible ways - I bring you into line with your glorious original calling and design – that you may be filled to the measure of ALL of my fullness.  Giving yourself to be present with me is a moment by moment choice that I never force, but am always available for, welcome and invite.  Just think – Here I am, creator of the universe, all powerful, and my deepest and greatest joy is when you and I spend time together.  Do you understand how my heart longs for you? Do you know or even suspect who you are to me?  You are a one-of-a–kind masterpiece, there is no other like you. You are my very favorite! No other person (past, present or future) can ever replace you in my affections.  You are a deeply loved child who I take great delight in.  When my eyes land upon you, they light up!!  And, I always have my eyes on you!  I look forward to our time together and I am always with you, but it is times where you engage, when you take time to drink in deeply and refresh in me and my love for you – these are deeply satisfying times for me too.  Look into my eyes.  Do you see yourself there?  These eyes overflow my radiant and heartfelt welcome and pleasure in you.  My heart is always full and for you – I have so much to share with you and show you.  I am jealous for you to be who I’ve made you to be in Jesus. Who that is – the one seated in heavenly realms with Christ right now (yes even now already you are there!) – you really have no idea who that is!  That one (YOU) is beautiful inside and out with a radiance, purity, holiness and loveliness that you cannot imagine.  There is nothing in the world like you to compare you to.  Like a priceless jewel shines, you shine – ONLY MORE SO!  Like a deeply adored child – you are content, fulfilled with overflowing happiness and unstoppable joy – ONLY MORE SO!  You will be restless, unsatisfied and disappointed being anything other than who I’ve designed you to be!  Your own vision of you is nothing to the astonishing true YOU in me.  Your very design requires relationship with me, though I never force that. That doesn’t mean I am not relentless in pursuing you, but, I invite you because I want you to come to me from a real heart commitment on your part.

Come to me.  Lay down your busyness, set aside your anxiety and worries.  Put down your hurts, pride and anger.  Take off your masks of pretending to be good enough, smart enough, capable and protecting to avoid rejection – just come as you are.  Come, abide in my acceptance of you, my joyful rest, love and approval of you.  Practice spending time with me and receiving my great love for you.  When you receive my love and understand who I really am (more and more) – everything in your life falls rightly into place.  Where before anxiety, performance and rushing to complete tasks overrode your vision and all the hurts, protecting and concerns loomed large in your eyes – when you spend time with me, I and my extravagant over the top love and power will take up ALL of your vision. I’m really too big not to!  You will no longer have eyes for anxiety or worry – your eyes will be filled with me, safe, protected, working in confident peace from rest in me.  I have an intimate life long walk with you, whether you are aware of me or not.  Beloved, I long to spend intimate time with you. It’s an integral part of who you are.  Your part, if you choose – is to choose to spend time with me – not in a legalistic – do this many hours of bible study and this much time in your prayer lists and the list of good things to do as a Christian.  I want you – just yourself – real, wholehearted, with all weights on you, flaws, all the stuff – just to come talk to me, listen to me, rest with me.  Our relationship establishes the process of washing away any hurts, worries or troubles. And my powerful love, - my fruitful love that is ever joyful, my love that is peaceful, my love that displays patience and long suffering, my love of overflowing kindness, my love’s abundant outrageous “never get to the bottom of it” goodness, my love that’s faithful and always for you, my love that is powerfully gentle, and my love richly abundant in self-control overcomes every deficit and need in you – making you an over comer and bearer of that same fruit!  You are made to be more than a conqueror! You shine and the brilliance I designed in you continues to be unveiled as we walk together – you shine into all the world around you.  That’s Kingdom life!  Me in you, you in me, we together with all of the Beloved - are one!   Our unity, life giving love and power – testify to and lift up Christ - drawing all the world to Him. 

I set my love upon you, beloved, because I am Love and have made you, designed you for it.  Come, Jesus made it possible for you to come!  Receive what I have for you, for Jesus’ sake – He really is worthy.

God (Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit)

Spectacles to See

He looked pretty much as he did every day, strength and beauty transcending the fraying edges - a sort of worn luster through wear.  Doggedly ready to drive ahead in the face of fatigue and angst.  "If they weren't such snakes!  They make me sick!", he blurted out.  "Jesus loves them, even if he doesn't love what they do. If you ask Him to,  Jesus will help you see them with His eyes and love them with His love.", I smiled and gave him a big hug.   "Okay, I'll try to be more positive", he said, as he opened the door.  I laughed, "Just listen to Jesus!"

Later that night... "Hey you!!", he said as he put down his things.  "Hey you!!", I said from under the snugly horse throw blanket. He sat down, pulled off his shoes and stripped off his socks, tossing them playfully at the sleeping cat. "Today was worse.  The boss was out and Pete (I can't stand that guy) gave me a real winner.  Re-check done by Dave.  Won't ask Dave to take care of it.  They feed all their favorites who'll do anything but the work, for a fast buck.  Yeah, and who gets to take care of the problems, again? No body cares about their work anymore and if they hurry up and just get it out to make money, they get rewarded"  I smiled at him, motioning him to look at the cat who had gotten up and was now curled up contentedly on his discarded socks.  "But, I just started in getting ready to take care of it and - guess what?",  He said, as he looked at me with a big smile.  "What?", I said.  "I looked down and there was a picture of Jesus and I remembered what you said this morning and I laughed!", his eyes crinkled at the corners as he looked at me.  "Yeah, Jesus, no coincidence you seeing Him.  So, did you listen to what He said?", I asked. A sheepish sort of smile crossed his face.

Thank you Jesus.  You are so good at everything.  You never ever fail in anything you do.  Thank you, thank you that you know every situation and circumstance and you bring people to see you there.  Thank you that we can walk with you in seeing things and people with your eyes.  Those eyes, seeing with them brings a whole different look to the world.  When we put on the "Jesus spectacles" we see so very clearly and act so very much in line with you. It changes everything.

Anointed

The word "anointed", in some Christian circles, has been diluted to a point where it is sort of lost to us. It's the same thing we've done to many other words.  We've made it impotent by applying it to many things that it is not.  Doing that's made it come to have a somewhat nebulous meaning that's almost rather like no meaning at all.

I say all that to say - I stumbled across an individual who I believe has been "anointed" for musical worship in a way I've not seen very often.  I use anointed as in - consecrated or chosen. With anointing, sometimes actual application of oil has been done, though I don't know if this man has been actually blessed with an application of oil. I do know God has chosen him.

It's really quite fascinating to me. I saw this person probably about a year ago, for the first time.  He is a very unassuming person.  Not showy.  Never presumptuous or full of himself with his talent.  He is humble, focused, pure in seeking to worship with his gift. He is rather unconscious of himself and quiet - not a very talkative person.  He has an innocence about him that is very refreshing in such a young person (he's likely no more than 25).  He is connected with God's heart in a way I have not experienced with any other musical worship leader in some ways (and I've seen quite a few of them - some very very talented). He has an innate talent with his instrument, but it's really more about his sensitivity to the Holy Spirit - though he uses his instrument to convey what He sees God doing. He listens intently to God.  He's never rushed or locked in to a set formula or way.  He's watching and when God turns, he turns.  He makes the sound that heaven is making. He adapts a song to fit how the Holy Spirit is leading for. He's playing "from heaven".  I have nearly been frozen during worship with this person playing. Frozen in actual awe of God. There is such a deep place of worship that's entered, that I really can't move for a good portion of the time.  It's not painful, it's the most wonderful.

Typically, this man plays with a group of very gifted worship leaders. They are a very powerful combination, each of them with specific talents and the whole is quite wonderful.  That and a great prayer team makes for a fabulous watering hole for the beloved.  I'm blessed to get to worship with them once or sometimes twice a month.  However, today, I was able to see this person lead worship alone.  I could not wait to go and encourage him to keep on sharing the worship of God in the way he does.  I could tell he felt very unequal to the task - but he really did so marvelously with God's absolute stamp on it. He was not really able to see some of what happened.  There was a spiritual darkness trying to keep worship halted or the lid on it.  He sensed that and felt as though he was struggling to get through. But God absolutely busted him through it.  He did join God by his persistence and brought all of us up into that place with God where heaven  is on earth in reality.  I believe he felt inadequate because he typically does not sing, when he works with the other leaders - though he sings quite well.  Tonight he sang and played and though his voice started out very quiet and tentative - he played as he always does, with great sensitivity.  We all came in to join him and the intimacy of it was quite powerful.  We could actually all hear each other - including him and all of us were so in awe of God's beauty there. So many times, in worship, the music drowns out all of the other worship voices and you only can hear the leaders.  It was so wonderful to hear each of the voices and their way of worship and love of God, even though not all were gifted with star quality singing voices.  Each had a unique portion of adoration for the King and it was wonderful sharing in God's presence. I reveled worshiping God in that way.  That time, so "anointed".   :)  Thank you, God.