Nakedness

I was talking with some friends recently and we were noting how God touched us in a similar way when we all saw “The Passion of The Christ”.  We were noting how that film gave us a new level of understanding - a deeper reality and awe of how much Jesus suffered and the horror of his death.  We all agreed that there was such a terrible feeling we had at the reality that Jesus had suffered so hideously for us and yet such a deep gratitude and gratefulness that He did that for us personally.  I noted that the only thing left out of all portrayals and films was the fact that Jesus was also naked on the cross and that this was in addition to all of the tortures and humiliation and shame he underwent.  Then one of my friends noted that she had been studying the scriptures about that very thing and that in looking at how Adam and Eve went from being naked and unashamed into covering themselves once they ate the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil and their eyes were opened that they were naked.  She said that when those who set out to shame Jesus on the cross by putting him there naked were actually fulfilling a divine plan that Jesus was the restoration of those things lost in the fall.  Nakedness without shame is one of the things lost at the fall.  Nakedness is restored through Jesus.

This actually really struck me considerably when I heard her say this. In that moment, Jesus sort of unfolded something before me.  It was considerably daunting and sobering to look at.  Just briefly, Jesus flashed before me that all things are uncovered in heaven for all to know.  There is nothing on this earth we will have done or thought that would or could ever be hidden.  Now, this thought put some deep consternation into me.  I immediately thought of the shame I would feel at being so fully and vulnerably revealed to all others in heaven and it’s because I know I am not completely holy and pure in so much of what I am.  There are things I would want no other person to know about me.  This was actually quite a good exercise for me to undergo, because it revealed my own heart to me. 

I have received so much freedom at Celebrate Recovery – a Christ Centered 12 Step program based on the Beatitudes.  It is a place where I can be authentic and really talk about things without the worry of shame from others. It is confidential and I can be real and take off masks of people pleasing and performance to be acceptable.  I am accepted and can speak about difficult things that I struggle with in a real way – with no judgment. I also have people I am accountable to which keeps me honest. It is amazing how this process cleanses me from fear and shame.  When I am honest and real about what is going on inside me – it always brings me relief and takes the power away from hidden shame.  We are only as sick as our secrets.

The one thing that struck me in what Jesus revealed is that I want to be honest about everything I have been hiding away.  I want to come clean with it long before I stand in heavenly company “naked”.  I want to stand naked – in the sense of real before all people NOW. That is a good discovery to make and one that I take very seriously and am pressing into.

So, I give my testimony again this July at CR.  I’m being prompted to take off my proverbial "fig leaves" and walk more “naked” than ever before.  Clothed with the righteousness of Christ alone – my piteous efforts at self-covering are not only in no way needed, but actually prevent me from living free.  I want freedom – I want it, I want it, I want it! I will have it in greater measure!  Thank you, Jesus.

What's Shame Got To Do With It?!

So, last post had to do with AH HA! revelation about Men and Women in Kingdom working together that occurred through Skip Moen.  This post - well, we're continuing on from Skip's deeply revelatory study material to connect it up and sort of superimpose over it another great research mind - in a whole other discipline. Brené (pronounced like René, but with a b in front) Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, has spent the last decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame.  I caught her TED talk on vulnerability awhile back, which blew me away. But this year, wow, her talk on shame - a level UP!

So, shame - how interesting that Brené should have spent so much time studying it and then trying to head away from it.  Well, this year, she came full circle back to it (You gotta dance with the one who brung ya!). You can see her talk on TED this year, just google her and it's on her website.  Some basics: Guilt = I did something bad. I'm sorry I made a mistake.  Shame = I am bad.  I am a mistake. 

Two things really stood out to me in Brené's talk on shame. One - she interviewed men and women about shame and though the feelings associated with it were the same for both she found it is organized by gender.  For women it comes out as: do it all, do it perfectly and never let them see you sweat. She describes it as a web of unattainable conflicting competing expectations about who we are supposed to be - which is a straight jacket.  For men it comes out as only one thing: do not be perceived as weak. It is another straight jacket.  These explanations immediately resonated as Skip's study of Genesis came bounding back into my mind. In Skip's study the very thing the woman was vulnerable to was how the serpent deceived her.  She thought the fruit would somehow enhance her - make her better able to do it all, do it perfectly and never sweat a drop. She never realized she already had everything she needed. The man was vulnerable in that he did not  remember or did not speak out what God had said and then did not want to be perceived as weak, as his blaming God and the woman point to. He never realized he could have forgiven himself and the woman. Brené talked about how shame is responsible for addictions and is epidemic in our culture. She said the North American cultural norm women strive for is: Nice, thin, modest, and uses all available resources for appearance. The North American cultural norm men strive for is: Emotional control, work 1st, pursue status, and violence. Hmmmm...see any similarities? This speaks volumes. I was amazed at the tie in between Skip and Brené's study materials - like a hand in glove!

Shame - my friend and teaching pastor, Robert Walter speaks on it and he says, "What's interesting is that shame is absent in paradise before the Fall and is the defining characteristic of hell (Daniel 12:2). There are 2x as many references to shame in the Bible as guilt." Amazing revelation wrapped up in that short statement. So, until we ate the fruit of "we'll take control"- shame was absent. Shame is THE defining characteristic of hell - which is the one place individuals have placed themselves by continuing to embrace their own control which rejects God.  And there are twice as many references to shame as there are guilt in the Bible - hmmmmm...is God trying to get our attention?  So shame is the twisting of self, bent without God.  We are made for God - designed for oneness with Him.  Anything we do with ourselves outside of that design = shame/bent. Kinda makes me want to keep knowing God at whole new levels!

The second thing Brené talked about that impacted me was on vulnerability. She said it is our most accurate measure of courage. And vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change. I agree with her. Her talk in essence was about remaining courageous in being vulnerable - risking everything (even failing) to Dare Greatly, because it's worth doing! And, it is!! Being authentic with one another, that takes real guts. Heaven knows we can't do it all, do it perfectly and never sweat and that we fail in never being perceived as weak. We are fighting the gremlins who say, "Things happened to you growing up, you aren't smart enough, pretty enough, never good enough and who do you think you are?" And 99% of the time - those gremlins are us! This is the truth. Brené and Skip both talk about being willing to sit with one another, find our way back to one another through this process and realize how shame causes us to look at one another. Yes, it's uncomfortable, but it needs to be embraced. She said empathy is the antidote to shame. Where secrecy, silence and judgement empower shame - empathy (me too) cures it!  I see this at work in Celebrate Recovery - when I dare greatly to be myself and take off the mask of perfectionism - others love and accept me right there and all the dreaded shame evaporates and I'm living wholeheartedly! I want more of that and I'm not gonna stop!  I think lots of people really do too.  Heaven knows we and our world need it!