I was talking
with some friends recently and we were noting how God touched us in a similar way
when we all saw “The Passion of The Christ”.
We were noting how that film gave us a new level of understanding - a
deeper reality and awe of how much Jesus suffered and the horror of his death. We all agreed that there was such a terrible
feeling we had at the reality that Jesus had suffered so hideously for us and
yet such a deep gratitude and gratefulness that He did that for us personally. I noted that the only thing left out of all
portrayals and films was the fact that Jesus was also naked on the cross and
that this was in addition to all of the tortures and humiliation and shame he
underwent. Then one of my friends noted
that she had been studying the scriptures about that very thing and that in looking
at how Adam and Eve went from being naked and unashamed into covering
themselves once they ate the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and
Evil and their eyes were opened that they were naked. She said that when those who set out to shame
Jesus on the cross by putting him there naked were actually fulfilling a divine
plan that Jesus was the restoration of those things lost in the fall. Nakedness without shame is one of the things
lost at the fall. Nakedness is restored
through Jesus.
This actually
really struck me considerably when I heard her say this. In that moment, Jesus
sort of unfolded something before me. It
was considerably daunting and sobering to look at. Just briefly, Jesus flashed before me that
all things are uncovered in heaven for all to know. There is nothing on this earth we will have
done or thought that would or could ever be hidden. Now, this thought put some deep consternation
into me. I immediately thought of the
shame I would feel at being so fully and vulnerably revealed to all others in
heaven and it’s because I know I am not completely holy and pure in so much of
what I am. There are things I would want
no other person to know about me. This
was actually quite a good exercise for me to undergo, because it revealed my
own heart to me.
I have
received so much freedom at Celebrate Recovery – a Christ Centered 12 Step
program based on the Beatitudes. It is a
place where I can be authentic and really talk about things without the worry
of shame from others. It is confidential and I can be real and take off masks
of people pleasing and performance to be acceptable. I am accepted and can speak about difficult
things that I struggle with in a real way – with no judgment. I also have people I am accountable to which keeps me honest. It is amazing how this process cleanses me
from fear and shame. When I am honest
and real about what is going on inside me – it always brings me relief and
takes the power away from hidden shame. We
are only as sick as our secrets.
The one thing
that struck me in what Jesus revealed is that I want to be honest about
everything I have been hiding away. I
want to come clean with it long before I stand in heavenly company “naked”. I want to stand naked – in the sense of real
before all people NOW. That is a good discovery to make and one that I take
very seriously and am pressing into.
So, I give my
testimony again this July at CR. I’m
being prompted to take off my proverbial "fig leaves" and walk more “naked” than ever
before. Clothed with the righteousness
of Christ alone – my piteous efforts at self-covering are not only in no way
needed, but actually prevent me from living free. I want freedom – I want it, I want it, I want
it! I will have it in greater measure! Thank you, Jesus.
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